Movie Review: Doubt

Doubt…

We watched the movie last Saturday and it kept us awake into the small hours of the morning.

The story line is quite flat, just like bad gossip: a superior nun,who’s also the principal of this Catholic school, suspects a newly appointed priest of inappropriate behaviour towards one of the pupils. She doesn’t have any evidence, only a few incidents brought to her attention by an eager and easily impressed young nun. But she convinces herself and everybody else involved that the priest has wronged the child somehow and makes him leave the school and the parish.

The movie is on the other hand brilliant in exploring the human mind and its intricacies: it makes the viewer aware of how easily a “reality” can be created out of suspicion and self-justification.  As, indeed, nothing is explained in the end and the viewer is left battling a sea of endless possibilities and scenarios. Was the reality Sister Aloysius Beauvier constructed veritable or was it all in her head and she  blamed an innocent man? Or were there clues one has missed  (there is a very confusing conversation between Sister Beauvier and Donald Miller’s mum, the pupil in question) that were there to incriminate Father Flynn? Is there more to the story than what meets the eye?

I have been in similar situations myself, when somebody interpreted the reality from their perspective and then declared my acts as intolerable. The devastation doesn’t come only from the complete and utter destruction of that relationship but also from the doubt that is left hanging over the “accused” person in everybody else’s eyes. People are, I’m sorry to say, much easier influenced by bad reports than by good ones.

What have I learned from my past experiences that Doubt reinforced in my psyche?

1. Petty people are to be treated with respect as they can cause a lot of damage.

2. There is always another side to a story, be wise and listen to it carefully before you pass judgement.

3. Always gather evidence before throwing the stone.

4. If you look to find fault in people you’ll always find some dirt to dig out. A more applaudable approach to life would be to look deep enough in everybody’s soul to find something good to bring to light, despite “obvious” evidence!

5. Never base judgement on feelings, either yours or anybody else’s, no matter how heated the argument is. You are not in the right just because your feelings tell you so!

The movie ends brilliantly with Sister Aloysius doubting her judgement and treatment of Father Flynn. For me, it’s an open end movie, the best I’ve ever seen. Because if Sister Aloysius was right but acted too hastily and didn’t allow herself time to gather evidence then she might have released a child molester into a much bigger community and school…If she was wrong, her actions still deprived a child of the support of a vitally needed father figure  and possibly left their mark on Donald Miller’s destiny…

Conclusions? It’s sooo, sooo easy to feel self-righteous and justify an act of meanness. So easy to wrong back when we feel we’ve been wronged. But meanness is not to be taken lightly and made use of easily because it will always affect someone’s life, to a smaller or a greater extent. Use your influence wisely, girls, that’s all I’m saying!

Sunny Northern Ireland

This would be an oxymoron normally but we’ve been blessed with TOTALLY cloudless sky so although I was gonna write a review on the movie Doubt I’m gonna grace you all with more pictures. See you tomorrow!

View from our back garden

You're entitled to mistake this for a beach in Spain!

Coffee in the sun, can't think of anything better!

Ballyholme Marina

Ward Park,Bangor

Daffodils, Ward Park, Bangor

Spring Look

Weekend fun

The weather has been surprisingly good the last few weeks so we made the most of it, by going to a farm and a museum. Have a look at what Northern Ireland is like in the sunshine!

Open Ark Farm, Newtownards

Buffaloes enjoying the dry weather(and hay). Same farm.

Ulster Folk and Transport Museum,Cultra

Taking off in an antique tram. Ulster Folk and Transport Museum.

Toddler spotting airplanes

It's warm but not that warm yet!

Teaching on the wrong side of town

I was teaching today. I am what they call in the States a “supply teacher” or a “substitute teacher” here, in Northern Ireland. I get phone calls in the evening or even early in the morning, mainly from primary schools and go in when a teacher is sick or on a training course.

Today it was a secondary school, for a change. A couple of years ago I had the privilege to work with some great kids there, from Thailand, Malaysia, India and China, who needed a bit of practice and encouragement with their English.  Today I wasn’t so privileged and had a battle on my hands with every new class who walked through the door. It wasn’t me they were fighting but the institution I represented, the authority they wanted to usurp from their lives because it doesn’t stand for anything meaningful to them.  They don’t see the point in studying and considering their backgrounds, I don’t blame them, really. For many of them, the sense of twisted peer  recognition coming from mocking everything that stands for authority is all the praise they’ll ever know. It’s the safety of numbers, the safety of uniformity within the peer group, the false sense of safety only ignorance was give. I wasn’t shocked by their attitude today, has been a while since rudeness impressed me.

What impressed me today (and every time I go into a school from “the wrong side of town”) were the kids who did do their work and were eager to learn despite the mayhem and interruptions. These kids prove to me that strength isn’t necessarily defined by physical appearance nor age. These kids are strong in their spirits because they have chosen to literally stand out from the crowd and swim against the current. The defeatism and cynicism that characterises their peers have left them unscarred because they have chosen to believe. Believe they can be what they dream to be and not what their peers tell them they should be!

Hat off to all the good kids in big schools out there!

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will." Mahatma Gandhi

Promised Book Reviews

A Thousand Splendid Suns, by Khaled Hosseini and Harmattan, by Gavin Weston

Okay, so chronologically these are not my two most recent readings. I finished Harmattan today but I can’t remember how long it’s been since I read A Thousand Splendid Suns. These days I recall events as “before and after the move” so I am sure I read it last year before October, before we moved to this part of Northern Ireland.

Similarities?

Both stories take place in the Muslim world (Afghanistan for A Thousand Splendid Suns, Nigeria for Harmattan), in countries ridden by war, poverty, and death.

Both novels revolve around young girls whose lives are maimed by their unfortunate circumstances: war and the Afghan society’s prejudices in Mariam’s case; illness and the Nigerian society’s inability to look after its innocents, in Haoua’s case.

In both cases, the girls are left without their mothers’ tender presence and vigilant protection from a young age, to the mercy of ruthless, uncaring, selfish fathers who perceive them as offsprings, but not as in the definition “a child of particular parentage” but as in “products” to be sold for their own profit.

Both girls become, unsurprisingly, victims of sickening marital abuse and end up, in their despair, butchering their tormentors/husbands. Mariam is an older version of Haoua or, if you want to reverse the equation, Haoua never allows herself to grow into Mariam and ends the abuse much sooner.

The ultimate relief out of their circumstances is DEATH, for Mariam in front of a Taliban platoon, for Haoua rotting slowly in a putrid jail cell. No redemption and no redeemer…

Differences?

Harmattan starts deceptively with the description of the day-to-day, “normal” life of a young, innocent Nigerian girl and her family. What drew my attention to the book in the first place was actually the fact that Haoua, the young protagonist, has as pen pals and sponsors a family from Northern Ireland, from a village not far from where we live at the moment! But that’s where niceties of civilised life start and end really, with this book: the delicacy of character and feeling is literally drowned by the series of events that follow. As I continued to read the book I realised that there was more to this book than what met the furtive glance: this was the story of an African girl from a white man’s perspective. Haoua narrates the story herself but she does so uncharacteristically for a twelve year old, maturely and with great dignity. As a girl who grew up in communist Romania where little value was put on human dignity I found this perspective refreshing, healing even. This book proved to be, surprisingly, a trip down the memory lane that has righted some long inflicted wrongs. But in all honesty, this book “feels” to the reader as one written from the outsider’s, civilised man’s perspective and its faith in the human decency is refreshing, yet slightly unbecoming of the story’s unfolding tragedy at times.

On the other hand, A Thousand Splendid Suns is written from a much more realistic and down to earth point of view. The tragedy is portrayed through an almost clinical eye and nothing leads you on to believe there will be anything but sorrow under the tragic circumstances. I recognise the perspective as I was raised under Communism with the same mentality: life is the way it is, accept it! It’s a prevalent doctrine characteristic to all nations who suffered indoctrination and dictatorship. It’s a doctrine that permeated life in all its aspects and can’t be shaken off because it was inoculated in one’s heart early in life. I can relate to Hosseini’s point of view easier because I’m more familiar to it.

Conclusions?

I suppose both books support simple truths that my mum passed on to us from when we were young:

-children are best looked after by their own mummies and I truly hope God will grant me the health and the means to raise and enjoy my child.

-when nations collapse the first to suffer are the innocent, the children and the women.

-beware of people who have nothing to lose, even if they appear weak and their spirit broken!

-education is important, even if the ignorant tell you otherwise, they are only supporting their own weakness!

-the human heart has the incredible ability to love despite the worst adversities and to hate with withering strength, sometimes all at once!

Spring is here!

Happy Saint Patrick’s!

St. Patrick's Day, our way!

50 Things That Make Me Happy

I wrote in my last post about things that relax me. This morning I went grocery shopping(another thing that relaxed me, especially when done on my own, on a Friday morning, looking for good deals in Tesco’s!) and then the thought came to me: can I find 50 things that make me happy? I did this exercise several times in the last six years but I never did it with such a big number…Anyway, it will be interesting to see what the epiphanies my catharsis will bring. Just bear with me, that’s all I’m saying, this is gonna be another random order list!

  1. I like the rain. Its sound relaxes and soothes me.
  2. I love rustling autumn leaves.
  3. I like good quality ice-cream. Movenpick and Mauds come to mind.
  4. I like studying. To the point that when I signed up for my Master degree my dad pulled me aside and told me the story of this very smart PhD. student who lost his marbles from too much reading.
  5. I’m interested in photography. I’d like to get a good camera and attend a photography course one day.
  6. I’m interested in other cultures(well, I married a Greek and I live in Ireland). I love learning new words, cooking in new ways, talking to people who have a different background than mine.
  7. I like blue and red and purple(can’t choose only one, sorry!).
  8. I like artisan work and I’m always on the lookout for pretty things for the house or for Emma.
  9. I love bargain shops!
  10. I love snow at Christmas and good weather at Easter, they make the celebrations kind of…perfect!
  11. I love weekends away when they include a full Irish/English breakfast, the morning paper, a relaxed walk and shopping in Penney’s/Primark.
  12. I love barbeques! I don’t care what it is(sausages, burgers, chicken and veggie skewers, fish), everything tastes better when cooked on an open fire.
  13. I love hyacinths( my dad used to bring hyacinths every Mother’s Day for my mum and myself when I  was a child.)
  14. I love flowers, actually, when they sit pretty and brighten my living room.
  15. I love trees in blossom, I always associate them with love…
  16. I love watermelon and have missed eating it messily and carelessly since I moved to Ireland. It’s best in August but we are normally back by then from our sunny holidays…
  17. I love babies, they get me all giggly and soft inside.
  18. I love dressing my little girl in pretty things.
  19. I like looking smart/sexy from time to time. Gives me a boost.
  20. I like driving when there are no distractions from the back seat. Puts my thoughts in order.
  21. I like doing crafts with my wee one but I’m never happy with the results. Let’s just say, I’m not very artistically endowed myself. But I’m trying!
  22. I love coffee mornings with friends.
  23. I love well fitting jeans, make the start of my day so much brighter!
  24. I love nice smelling hand creams, lotions and potions!
  25. I love to collect Emma’s “art”, I have a big folder in the garage bursting with drawings, cards…etc. I want her to see them when she grows up and feel appreciated in this way, too.
  26. I love to travel and I’d love to see even more of this world. I’d like to do the tour of Romania, go back to Australia and see South America.
  27. I like planes.
  28. I like having my photo taken and taking photos of others.
  29. I like balloons.
  30. I like going to the movies and eating nachos.
  31. I love Diet Coke at the moment.
  32. I like teaching when the recipients are interested in learning(I’m a teacher by profession).
  33. I like horses. They are in my opinion majestic animals that deserve my respect.
  34. I like reading. Romantic Christian novels at present.
  35. I like cooking. I’m useless at baking though.
  36. I like having my nails done.
  37. I’d like to believe in people’s goodness and genuineness.
  38. I love seeing old couples in acceptance of each other(I wouldn’t say in love because it’s much more than a rose tinted view of each other.)
  39. I love observing older people, how they talk about/deal with the mundane.
  40. I love peaches and cherries and pineapples(I can’t really eat much as I get all these sores in my mouth if I touch the peel).
  41. I love my mum.
  42. I love knowing what’s ahead of me, be it for a week, a month or a year.
  43. I appreciate the power of routines but I have a hard time staying motivated when in one.
  44. I love McDonald’s cherry pie!
  45. I used to love cycling as a child, should give it a go again one of these days.
  46. I love going to the beach with Emma, even on a not-so-warm day.
  47. I like trains.
  48. I like many capital cities but Edinburgh is the one I’d like to revisit soon.
  49. I like to wear slippers when inside, my feet are always cold otherwise.
  50. I’d love to have some mackerel  for lunch, what about you ?;-)

What’s haven for Mama’s Haven?

I’d love to say that I am sporty and I go running, swimming and Zumba dancing regularly…But I’m not sporty, I can’t run more than 90 second intervals and 15 minutes in total on a treadmill, I can’t swim and the first(and last) time I went for a Zumba class I almost had an apoplexy.

So how do I relax and stay healthy?

Thank goodness, hubby has been into super healthy eating since baby was born(as he explains now, he needed a project himself, since I had mine:raising the baby!) so I haven’t had many opportunities to pig out and pile up the weight. At the end of the day, I’m the one doing all the super healthy cooking! I enjoy cooking, theoretically and it used to relax me. I say it “used to” because almost a year ago baby went through a phase when she refused anything to eat except, well…crap food. I started to stress out so much that every meal time became a nightmare. She’s past the exclusive junk phase but I still find myself cooking two different meals most evenings since  she’s stayed hooked up on a select few: scrambled eggs and spinach, lasagne, spaghetti bolognese, fish fingers and corn on the cob; tons of rice, pasta and chicken(plain), couscous and…strawberries.  Oh, pizza but she’s not allowed to have it more than once every other week! And cooking is not plain sailing as it used to be pre-baby. Now it’s all about choosing easy recipes, planning ahead and finishing before she starts looking for attention. Which never happens, by the way…Despite it all, I still enjoy cooking, theoretically ;-) and would go on a cooking spree from time to time(last night I made fish tagine and Greek spinach pie in the space of an hour, just for the love of it!).  I will try and take photos sometimes and post some of my recipes, if I can figure a way to squeeze photography in the kitchen…

My favourite way to relax has been and still is READING. Hubby got me a Kindle for my birthday and I must have read around ten electronic books since January. I intend to write reviews once I can make a list of what I’ve read recently. I am constantly looking for good reads so if you have any recommendations, drop me a note, will you?

Oh, and I love watching documentaries and programs when home alone and toddler in bed. The Biggest Loser, You Are What You Eat and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding sort of programs…

Relaxing…

Well, enough of it for tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow with what tomorrow brings. Have a relaxing evening, I know I will…

Why I love my toddler

It’s not a secret and I have written about it before, I didn’t have an easy start with my baby. She was refluxy, I had hypothyroidism, not a great combination. I am doing this volunteer course for supporting mothers with difficulties at the moment and I’ve come to realise that I should have had some reassurance back then. I found it so hard, coping with my own emotions and minding an ever crying baby. But this is in the past and I suppose it makes me appreciate even more having a beautifully balanced toddler now.

I’m gonna, randomly and as it comes to mind, make a list of how my toddler melts my heart on a daily basis:

-she uses “Peas(please)” and “Tenk(thank) you” all the time. Especially when she’s after a round of “Yeea, yeea,oooh” on my computer but also when she’s offered a drink, her favourite food or help with dressing up.

-she’s ever so determined to do things herself. Be it either a puzzle, eating her cereal in the morning, putting her jammies on or getting into her car seat, she wants to be able to do it without help.

-she’s so committed to finish what she starts, which is amazing for a toddler. And a beautiful quality which will help her to make way in life!

- she loves tenderly and unconditionally. Her daddy, myself and ALL her friends and relatives. It’s common practice for her to just sit down with me and go through the whole list, asking how everybody is doing. Just out of pure care.

- she’s becoming a chatterbox! She would try now and string everything into sentences.  It doesn’t always come out as a full sentence but it’s wonderful to see her try! Yesterday she was out with daddy and came back to tell me: “Mummy, boys wash daddy’s car! Emma shops, got oranges.”

- she frightens easily and needs reassurance. She is scared of hoovers, bin trucks, cats and the dark. There is an episode in Peppa Pig when Daddy Pig goes in the basement for a few seconds and the screen goes all black. For her, that’s the equivalent of a horror movie and she would run into the kitchen to find me and get a cuddle.

- she’s creative, as creative as a two year old can be! She loves painting, singing, dancing and dressing up!

- she knows how to be happy! She takes pleasure in what we consider small and ordinary things: spending time with both of us, having a chocolate ice-cream, playing with her kitchen, doing a pipi on her potty and getting praise for it!

- she takes pleasure in being friends and sharing her toys and misses her friends’ company when they’re sick or when she hasn’t seen them for a while.

- she forms thoughts that leave us speechless sometimes. The other week she asked about her friends and their baby sisters and then she turned to us and, as a natural flow in the big sister-baby sister conversation, asked us where her baby was!

- she’s a girlie girl and she would sit sometimes and let me put bows in her hair and then go and admire herself in the mirror.

- she’s my gift from above and I am still in reverent awe that she was given to ME to raise into a responsible adult! Wow!

Sunday treat, chocolate ice-cream

Check you out, Peppa Pig!

Ever so committed to finish what she has started

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