All posts tagged: church

To the mother whose child was just given the all clear…

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I rejoiced with you this week, when I read your good news. I rejoiced with you from the darkness of my bereaved parent existence, knowing that you will never get to know my reality. I rejoiced for your son and I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the pain my son endured in the last two weeks of his life and that fact that yours was spared all that, and you the totally heart-wrenching feeling of helplessness of having to watch him die. But your social media update, which was picked up by so many churches, individuals and even by a local newspaper, made me very sad too. You see, your update, as hope giving as it is meant to be, (as I do suspect you see it now as your life “testimony” to the Church, a confirmation they so desperately seek of a God who can perform miracles), has totally left out several facts and a huge group of parents and believers who have fought “the good fight”, just like you, but never pulled …

Dear Religious Leader…

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Last week, my Facebook page exploded. I made statements that were taken as affronts and there were lengthy and sometimes harsh reactions to my reality of hurt. Meanwhile, things have been addressed and waters have been cleared. But if I had learned anything during this first year of grief, is that religion has moved far away from what it initially was meant to be. So I decided to write a letter. A letter addressed not only to Christian leaders everywhere but to all religious leaders as I know that my situation has not been singular as a bereaved parent. So, here goes: “Dear Religious Leader, A long or short time ago, you felt a calling in your heart to serve God with your life and make ministry your job. I know that you came from a place of dedication, genuine interest and love for your God and His people. But the years have passed, social strategies have been accepted as the Bible or Torah or Qur’an and simple sentiments like hope, compassion and companionship have …

On Death

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I have been talking a lot about death this week. And to me, that is natural now. I do not talk about death in a morbid and obsessive way, as some might think. Death pops up in my conversations. In my blog posts. On my Facebook. And since my son is dead, I do not mind talking about the subject. It is my way of keeping my son alive, paradoxical as it may sound. This week, Lexi, another beautiful bereaved mummy, agreed to publish Georgie’s story on her baby loss blog. Of course, death was part of the story, as it is part of every baby loss story on her website. This week, I had lunch with an amazing woman who had spent some of her youth nursing abandoned Romanian AIDS babies not back to health, as she would have wished but onto death. And of course, we talked about pain and death and the great privilege of looking after precious souls so close to their passing into eternity hour and the love we feel …