Posting from abroad

Okay, we did it again! Got on a plane with minimal fuss(and preparation) and went to see Papou and Giagia in Greece. There are adjacent reasons to the visit but I’ll share when there will be something to share. For now, we are here, doing paperwork by day and passionately debating(as concerns hubby)/begrudgingly avoiding(as concerns me) politics at night. And eating LOADS in between. Everything that’s fresh, everything that’s tasty, everything that’s smelling nice finds its way into our mouths.Both hubby and I were raised in warm countries where the fruit and veggies you eat come no further than 20 kilometers away and are always ripe and juicy and ready to be eaten. We have missed that more than we want to admit even to ourselves and we are making up for it now and teaching our daughter to do the same.

Anyway, I wanted to do another thing in my post today. I have been nominated for the  ‘Versatile Blogger Award’ (http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/) and I would like to return the favour, thanks Iva and nominate some blogs myself:

1. http://www.theimaginationtree.com -for their play challenge emails, they are a God-sent and a great source of inspiration.

2. http://www.romanianmum.com – for being brave and blogging as a Romanian! For the emotional richness of her posts and the beautiful way she promotes everything that is Romanian.

3. http://grenglish.co.uk – for providing such a humorous view on what it means to be married to a Greek and have a toddler

4. http://lovenewblogs.com – for doing such a great job at promoting “new kids on the blog”

5. www.mothernaturelovesyou.com – for blogging with such grace about parenting and life in general

6. http://yourlifetube.com - for providing diverse and insightful posts on weight loss, healthy living and exercise

7. http://www.catchy.ro – sorry but this one is in Romanian. The first pertinent, well informed and down to earth Romanian blog/website I came across.

8. http://www.growingajeweledrose.com – a wealth of ideas for entertaining toddlers

9. http://famigliaandseoul.blogspot.com  - for the sensory bin ideas and many other ones!

10.  http://handsonaswegrow.com

11. http://rainydaymum.co.uk

12. http://thespohrsaremultiplying.com

13. http://www.emsyjo.blogspot.com/

14. http://tickledinlove.blogspot.com

15. http://crittersandcrayons.com

The rules for the Versatile Blogger are as follows:
If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.
-Thank the person who gave you this award
-Include a link to their blog
-Select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly
-Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award
-Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.

The way people see you…

I have been down with a throat infection for more than a week. That sort of blunted some of my senses while sharpening others. I can’t smell or taste much because my nose has been blocked for so long. On the other hand, my sense of appreciation or dissatisfaction have sharpened. It makes me feel warm inside when people ask how I’m feeling and makes me angry when I’m being told bluntly that I’ll be all right in a few more days. But I’m a lucky girl: I had a friend making white tea and a very tasty picnic for us yesterday; on top of that her lovely boys entertained and kept my toddler safe while we were having a yarn. Best picnic ever since I had a child!!As I write hubby has taken charge of Emms and taken her to church so I can lie down for a couple of hours. Bliss!!

As I said, some of my other senses have sharpened and this morning hubby and I had a very philosophical chat about how we see other people, how we react to them and how we allow people’s opinions to shape us. We have different strategies when it comes to dealing with conflict and we have been discussing them extensively so here goes…

Hubby is the sort of person who never falls out completely with anyone, even if the person in question had done things that really hurt him or his business. He rarely if ever has harsh words with anyone and always finds a way to restore that relationship. He believes in always seeing the positive side in people and never focusing on the negative, as that approach makes one bitter and multiplies the negative incidents. He believes that people can’t really hurt you unless you allow them to do so and that it is your choice to be happy in life, no matter how other people see or relate to you. He would always try and mediate conflicts when he sees people fight because he believes in harmony and civility. He also believes in giving people second chances after he has forgiven them in the hope they can change.

I, on the other hand, have a more clean-cut approach. Lack of courtesy, sincerity or respect, gossips, sneaky behaviour and hidden agendas don’t rate high with me. Once I assess someone(and my assessment is based on repeated incidents of the same nature and not an one-off occurrence) as not desirable in my life at that time, I withdraw. I don’t do it because I hate them. I don’t do it because I have an unforgiving heart. I do it so that I can protect myself and my own from other similar disagreeable events.I also do it to give the people in question a chance to reconsider their behaviour and change it. I want the relationships I have with other people to be well worth my time and pleasant for both parties and I don’t consider a self-sacrificial approach of “I will be quiet and suffer and maybe one day the person in question will see the error of their ways.” Some people are, sorry to say that, too thick skinned to get it in that way. I don’t generally give people second chances unless they return in my life with the clear understanding that we have a mature relationship in which putting the other down, lying and having hidden agendas is unacceptable. Most people don’t return but with the ones that have returned I have what I call “rarefied” relationships. Clean of all nonsense and pretense, that is.

I know what you’re thinking! How do two people who think so differently resolve conflicts with each other? Well, we have learned over the years to agree to disagree, as hubby puts it.  He’s still not happy when I take breaks from important relationships, like that with my brother recently, but has come to understand that letting people walk all over me is not the option either. I am still not happy when I see him pursuing relationships with people I don’t find trustworthy but I came to realise it’s his choice and I can’t do much more than state my opinion. And overall, we have come to agree on one point: the way people see you does not necessarily have to define you in any way, unless you choose to go along with it!

Opposite views, same picture

#Blog it for babies: My birth story

Okay, saw this going around and I thought this could serve as free therapy while I’m doing a good deed. So here goes, the story of Emms’ birth.

I had a “normal” pregnancy or a what I thought was a normal pregnancy. We had assumed that my extreme mood swings were caused by the hormones taking over my life. In fact, it was hypothyroid and it plagued our lives for at least a year. I felt extremely tired, got crossed with hubby over everything and after I had baby I felt teary, unable to cope and yes, moody! The good part was that I didn’t gain almost any weight(I put on 7.5 kilos only during the entire pregnancy) and I lost the baby weight and loads more in two weeks after I had her. I am writing all these because many times we bitch about women who have lost their pregnancy weight very quickly, unaware of the fact that there might be a medical condition behind all the happy appearances.

Anyway, going back to the event itself(do I really want to do this??), it started on a Wednesday morning but because there wasn’t much more than slight back pain and a bit of bleeding we decided to carry on with our day as normal. I drove myself to the hospital just to have them check and dismiss me(“Call back when your contractions are 5 minutes apart!” “Hmm,what?!?”). I went and had my hair dyed and cut after that and hubby went to Derry(a mere two-hour drive away) on business. The real deal(or what I thought was the real deal) started in the evening. But it was still just dull back pain and very disparate contractions so I sent hubby to bed and I soldiered on till 2 a.m. Then everything stopped and I went to bed, what else? The following day hubby decided to stick around, hopeful that things will progress and baby will be scared out of my womb by his presence. It didn’t happen. I had a lazy day in bed and then around 7 p.m. I started to feel things heating up again. By 11 p.m. I was in so much pain he had to drive to the hospital again although the nurse on the phone told us to stay home on Paracetamol. Hmmm, really? Got there, was put on very strong painkillers, got a bed and then…everything stopped. I didn’t want to go back home so I decided to stay with all those women moaning and giving birth around me. I thought the atmosphere might spur baby on. Hmmm, no, it didn’t. At noon on Friday they were ready to send me home but I refused to budge. The novelty of the giving birth thing was wearing off, you see. Anyway, they kept me in and around 7 p.m. on Friday my waters broke and it started. I did well for a couple of hours but once they took me into one of those small, claustrophobic “birth suites” I  started to feel VERY uncomfortable. The baby must have been back to back because it took FOREVER and a day. And then the nurse said I was only 5 cm and I completely lost it. I inhaled gas and air while they put the epidural in and it all went silent from there. I felt strangely euphoric with the drugs and the tiredness. I had to push for an hour or so and then they forgot to tell me to stop and it all went very…wrong “down there.” But when the nurse said: “There’s a head of dark hair coming out” I knew. I knew my dreams had come true. I knew I was having a girl. A girl who looked like the man I loved the most in the world. A girl I will cherish and dress up forever! And nothing else mattered.Well, maybe a little bit, the part when I got stitched up for literally hours and the nurse asked casually over her shoulder “Does this bit fit here, you think?”

Oh, I am putting on a photo from when we went home three days later. Hubby lost all the birth photos and videos. As you do…

Mother and baby

This blog post was written for Save the Children’s BlogitforBabies campaign.  Every hour of every day, 11 newborn babies die in Bangladesh. That’s about one every six minutes.  1 in 19 children do not live to see their fifth birthday in Bangladesh because access to basic services such as healthcare is very limited, particularly in rural areas.  For every 10 births in Bangladesh, 8 mothers have to give birth in their home without a skilled health worker present, putting the life of their baby at risk.

Please help Save the Children to raise money to build 7 new clinics in Bangladesh.  

The new clinics in Baniachong and Ajmiriganj will reach 21,500 women of child-bearing age with family planning services; 3,000 pregnant women with antenatal care; 2,190 newborn babies with postnatal care, breastfeeding support for their mothers and antibiotics when they become ill; 2,218 infants aged up to one year, by helping their mothers to breastfeed and wean them safely and reducing the chance of life-threatening diseases such as diarrhoea and the risk of malnutrition and 43,600 people in the area with information on how to stay healthy and where to get help if they do become ill.

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