I haven’t posted in absolute ages. I had little to say. Little made sense to my mind in the last couple of weeks.
You see, things haven’t been right with us for a while…Who am I kidding? For a long time. Forever. The way we started wasn’t right. It wasn’t how God had intended it. But I didn’t think He would mind. After all, I was trying to build a family and He loves and blesses families, right? Right?? So a harsh word here and an out of proportion reaction there weren’t going to matter. Except for the fact that I was trying to build a life outside His will. On the other side of the barricades, someone else was trying to build business(es) in order to support his family. And God loves enterprising people, right? Right?? So a late night here and a weekend spent solely working there weren’t going to matter. Except for the fact that he was trying to build a business outside His will.
It took Him five and a half years. It took Him taking everything that we held dear and based our identity on. Our house and our financial security. Our control on how things should be with our health, our work, our finances. And then we were free to listen. Free to ask for forgiveness. Free to start all over again. This time, the way He intends to. ‘Cause I’m not moving one single step without His guidance. i don’t want to fall away from His loving kindness ever again. It just doesn’t make sense, you know ;-)?