Parenting, Writing
Comments 26

Living Arrows-6/52

IMAG0237Life as a family of 4

This is us (daddy is taking the picture) on one of our first trips out as a family of 4. He was craving good pub grub so we drove to Carnlough and went for our favourites: Emma, you had pizza and chips, mummy had mussels and daddy had mash and sausages.

Emma, these past two weeks have been difficult for you, sweetheart. You look happy and relaxed here because mummy and daddy are giving you their full attention, even for a few minutes, but baby, you have struggled with being the second fiddle, so to say, and I am guilt-ridden over it. You are awfully good generally but there are moments, like this morning, when mummy’s arms are full with baby when you come clean and tell me: “I am jealous with George, mummy.” I know things will improve, I know your Bica is coming in a week’s time and I will have help and more time to hold you but I feel for you, baby and I wish I could do more. But I can’t at the moment. So I hope you will forgive your mummy and you will not remember this period when you grow up. I hope these days will be replaced in your memory with happier ones, moments that are sure to come.

Georgie, you are teaching me so much about yourself and every day I learn new things about what you prefer and what your personality is. You are a very relaxed boy, as long as your needs are met but boy, oh, boy, you can let us know all right if we have crossed you in any way :-). You love feeding and sleeping at night, too often for mummy’s liking but I am sure things will improve soon :-). But as soon as 5 a.m. hits, you swap from your bed to mummy’s arms and wouldn’t go back in, making the morning routine a bit stressful for me. You like snoozing in mummy’s arms until around 10 when, belly full again, you would go down quite happily in your bed. In the late afternoon you love sleeping in your car seat in the kitchen, as you probably remember the sounds of mummy cooking from when you were in my womb and find them soothing. You are also quite demanding of mummy’s attention in the evening, meaning that your sister has had to have her stories read by daddy in the last two weeks. We need to work on that as well, son, as she misses her mummy and would love to cuddle up to me too at bedtime.

Taking it one day at the time, sometimes one hour at the time, seems the best policy at the moment. Mummy loves you both and does her very best to make you happy, comfortable and safe. Hope you can feel that, my living arrows!


This entry was posted in: Parenting, Writing


Mum to one beautiful girl on earth and one sweet baby boy in heaven. Privileged carer. Encourager and friend.


    • Oh, I know, it’s just the tiredness and the pressure to be all for everybody while you are still sleep deprived and hormonal, which is quite impossible, isn’t it?

  1. I know how you feel Oana! Great, that your mum is coming to help you!Here is what I say to the boys when jealousy is expressed.I would say “It’s OK to feel jealousy. I love you anyway, just as much and I love your brother.” then I would hug and kiss him. You will get used to be wanted from your kids and your guild will gradually vanish.
    Embrace that love, that comes from your children as a gift like no other, even if it comes dressed as jealousy or challenging behavior. Be gentle and kind to yourself.
    Keep reassuring Emma, that you love her.Finding even 20 minutes to spend with her each day will help you both.
    I agree 100% how relaxed boys are as long as they have all their basic needs satisfied.My boys also spent a lot of time in their car seats as babies, as it was the best way to make sure that they are around and feel my presence.
    You have the glow of a happy mama, never mind the lack of sleep and everything else, hope this outing was enjoyable for you all. Sending hugs and lots of love!

    • Thank you, Iva, taking one day at the time, one incident to deal with at the time. Hopefully I will get the hang of it quickly, once again 🙂

  2. Aww enjoy! They grow up so fast! Sadly due to health issues NONE of mine were ever very settled, but I would still be tempted to do it again if we were a little younger!

    • Our Emma was very bad for the first three months and I was dreading a similar story but it seems he is much more settled, in fact.xx

    • Yes, Melissa, I know, I am thinking by summer time he will be a big boy, sitting on his own, sleeping through the night(hopefully). Something to keep me going through this muddled-up days 🙂

  3. winegumsx says

    Aww bless her, it can be really hard with a new sibling! But it will get easier as he gets bigger x

  4. Oh gosh those early days are so hard aren’t they?! But I’m sure she won’t remember anything except happy times! Looks like a lovely family meal out!

  5. Lovely photo of you all, nice to get out for a bit together too. We only have one child but friends of ours that have two say it takes a little time for everyone to get used to each other 🙂

  6. It’s tough adjusting to being a family of four but like you say, I’m sure they won’t remember. Enjoy every second of the madness!

  7. Aw bless I can only imagine it must be so different for her – lovely picture though and I hope you enjoyed your pub lunch 🙂 x

  8. Sorry she is finding it hard. When my second was born, my eldest would hit her in the head out of frustration. She was such a good girl but she was so confused as to why she wasnt getting our full attention anymore. It only lasted a few weeks and then she was fine after that xxx

  9. I don’t think I’ve said congratulations. It will all fall into place. I couldn’t have been without my sling for managing to spend time with the others too.

  10. Congratulations on your little one, not sure if I’ve said that yet. I can’t imagine how I would feel seeing my little one struggle for attention because of a new love in the house. The good news is that children adapt quickly and I’m sure she’ll be taking to her role of big sister with so much happiness x

  11. Having 2 children is a completely different ball game isn’t it! Although Baby J is over 2 now I still don’t feel like I fully give Ky (6) the complete attention he deserves all the time and that crushes my heart! Things will get better eventually! And having 2 children is pretty awesome! Congratulations xx

  12. This pic totally took me back to Miss J’s first few weeks and how much harder everything seemed to be to get done compared to how it was before. Congratulations on your beautiful new addition. It gets easier xxx

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