Today you will leave us for good, baby boy. For three days we fooled ourselves into believing you were still here with us because your beautiful body was still in our midst. We were able to hold hands, pat your cheek and kiss your forehead. We were able to give you cuddles and wash you with our tears. But today, oh baby, today, your body will leave us too.
Your sister is angry with you again. She understands very well the finality that today will bring and doesn’t want to accept it. She didn’t want to say goodbye. She didn’t want to kiss your cheek. She is mad with you, for leaving her, sweetheart. She loved you sooo much, as you know. She didn’t get to spend the time she deserved with you. You were stuck in a hospital room for two months, away from her. She had to steal glances through the door and kisses when no one was looking. The days in the hospice were wonderful for her. The first thing she said every morning, as soon as she opened her eyes was “Let’s go and see Georgie, mummy!” Even after you left your body, she still had this need. To come and see you. To be with you. Draw you pictures. Give you flowers.
But that will be no more from today.
Tomorrow morning we will wake up in our house, empty of you. I am sorry, baba boo, but I had to ask your daddy to put your things away for now. I can’t look at them yet. But the house is now so very empty. Hollow. Quiet.
How will we fill the quietness, sweet boy?
And we know you are well. We know your reality is astounding and incomprehensible for us here. We know you are running free with Katie and Matilda Mae and Oscar and Ben and Abigail. We know Jesus has welcomed you in as an honoured guest and has kept you close ever since you left us. That He is your comfort and your portion now.
But somehow, somehow today this knowledge does not bring any comfort. Today we would like to find a way to bring you back. To press a magic button and delete the past two months. Wake up from the whole experice like from a bad, bad nightmare and be able to tickle you and see you smile. Feed you baby food. Take you for walks. Cuddle up on the sofa. Sing lullabies to you.
Sweet boy, baba boo, baby blue, lovey, forgive your mummy and her selfishness. She just misses you so, that is all. She will be well. One day. Don’t let my sorrow make you sad where you are.
You go now and play. Fly high, wee bird, fly free and way up high!
Loving you. Now and forever more.
Mama's Haven 
Words are simply not enough so sending you lots of hugs and prayers xx
my heart breaks for you as you go through today, I hope you are able to find some lovely memories of times that you were able to smile and be happy with Georgie.
You are not selfish, you are a loving caring mother and are going through something most people could never even imagine.
Sending love and strength
My thoughts are with you all. I’m wishing you lots of strength and love for the coming days, weeks and months. x
Oh Oana, sweetheart, my heart is breaking for you. Sending all my love and strength to you xxx
my thoughts are with you, so much love to you all xx
Oh my lovely…I have no words. Tears roll down my face for you and yours. xxx
Oh Oana, I am so so sorry. There are simply no words, just know that I am thinking of you all! Sending lots of love xxx
I just want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers
I have found your words so moving and can identify in how you are feeling as I just lost my mum. God bless you and your family. Find strength in your love together xx
Thinking of you all – i’m so so sorry xxxx
I’m so sorry, my heart breaks for you.
That is so beautiful, Oana….what a wonderful tribute to your brave boy……may God be with you, my thoughts and prayers certainly are x
It’s not selfish, not in any way. Sending love and strength from my house to yours, to all of you xxx
Sending my love and strength to you. My prayers are with you and yours. xx
My prayers are with you all x
Oh my word, I have nothing I can say, but thinking of you. I am so sorry. X
Thoughts, love and light my family sends your way.
May he never be forgotten.
My heart breaks for you. Having watched my amazing cousins have to say goodbye to their beautiful daughter Abigail I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must be going through. All my thoughts are with you and your family xx
I don’t know what to say but I can’t say nothing Oana. I’m so sorry for your loss and I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel right now.
You’re in my thoughts x x
Thinking of you and praying for comfort. I can’t imagine what it’s like losing your baby. I’m standing before the Father on your behalf asking Him to hug you. To make Himself felt. Near you.
Oana, I am still devastated for you, it will take my mind a long time to process the thought of a baby lost from our world so I couldn’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through still. Please let us carry you through this as much as we can. Sending love to the family xxx
I don’t have any words. Please just know I’m praying for you, my heart is with you. X
So heartbreaking. My thoughts are with you and sending huge amounts of love your way. xoxo
I really don’t know what to say but I couldn’t read and not say something. You are in my thoughts. So sorry x
I have no words. I am so so sorry for your loss. x
My thoughts are with you and your amazing family in this time of sadness and grief…..
No words, in awe at your strength and your faith . Sending love and strength xx just so sorry that this has happened to you all xxx
I am so sorry to hear this terrible news, I wish you strength and am so sorry for your loss. xD
Pingback: Feeling Frustrated with Parenthood? Be Where You Need to Be