Comments 29

Dear Georgie: Bye bye my sweet boy!

Today you will leave us for good, baby boy. For three days we fooled ourselves into believing you were still here with us because your beautiful body was still in our midst. We were able to hold hands, pat your cheek and kiss your forehead. We were able to give you cuddles and wash you with our tears. But today, oh baby, today, your body will leave us too.

Your sister is angry with you again. She understands very well the finality that today will bring and doesn’t want to accept it. She didn’t want to say goodbye. She didn’t want to kiss your cheek. She is mad with you, for leaving her, sweetheart. She loved you sooo much, as you know. She didn’t get to spend the time she deserved with you. You were stuck in a hospital room for two months, away from her. She had to steal glances through the door and kisses when no one was looking. The days in the hospice were wonderful for her. The first thing she said every morning, as soon as she opened her eyes was “Let’s go and see Georgie, mummy!” Even after you left your body, she still had this need. To come and see you. To be with you. Draw you pictures. Give you flowers.

But that will be no more from today.

Tomorrow morning we will wake up in our house, empty of you. I am sorry, baba boo, but I had to ask your daddy to put your things away for now. I can’t look at them yet. But the house is now so very empty. Hollow. Quiet.

How will we fill the quietness, sweet boy?

And we know you are well. We know your reality is astounding and incomprehensible for us here. We know you are running free with Katie and Matilda Mae and Oscar and Ben and Abigail. We know Jesus has welcomed you in as an honoured guest and has kept you close ever since you left us. That He is your comfort and your portion now.

But somehow, somehow today this knowledge does not bring any comfort. Today we would like to find a way to bring you back. To press a magic button and delete the past two months. Wake up from the whole experice like from a bad, bad nightmare and be able to tickle you and see you smile. Feed you baby food. Take you for walks. Cuddle up on the sofa. Sing lullabies to you.

Sweet boy, baba boo, baby blue, lovey, forgive your mummy and her selfishness. She just misses you so, that is all. She will be well. One day. Don’t let my sorrow make you sad where you are.

You go now and play. Fly high, wee bird, fly free and way up high!

Loving you. Now and forever more.


This entry was posted in: Parenting


Mum to one beautiful girl on earth and one sweet baby boy in heaven. Privileged carer. Encourager and friend.


  1. my heart breaks for you as you go through today, I hope you are able to find some lovely memories of times that you were able to smile and be happy with Georgie.
    You are not selfish, you are a loving caring mother and are going through something most people could never even imagine.
    Sending love and strength

  2. My thoughts are with you all. I’m wishing you lots of strength and love for the coming days, weeks and months. x

  3. Oh Oana, I am so so sorry. There are simply no words, just know that I am thinking of you all! Sending lots of love xxx

  4. I have found your words so moving and can identify in how you are feeling as I just lost my mum. God bless you and your family. Find strength in your love together xx

  5. English Grandma says

    That is so beautiful, Oana….what a wonderful tribute to your brave boy……may God be with you, my thoughts and prayers certainly are x

  6. My heart breaks for you. Having watched my amazing cousins have to say goodbye to their beautiful daughter Abigail I can’t begin to imagine the pain you must be going through. All my thoughts are with you and your family xx

  7. I don’t know what to say but I can’t say nothing Oana. I’m so sorry for your loss and I can’t even begin to imagine how you must feel right now.

    You’re in my thoughts x x

  8. Damaris says

    Thinking of you and praying for comfort. I can’t imagine what it’s like losing your baby. I’m standing before the Father on your behalf asking Him to hug you. To make Himself felt. Near you.

  9. Oana, I am still devastated for you, it will take my mind a long time to process the thought of a baby lost from our world so I couldn’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through still. Please let us carry you through this as much as we can. Sending love to the family xxx

  10. No words, in awe at your strength and your faith . Sending love and strength xx just so sorry that this has happened to you all xxx

  11. I am so sorry to hear this terrible news, I wish you strength and am so sorry for your loss. xD

  12. Pingback: Feeling Frustrated with Parenthood? Be Where You Need to Be

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