I am running behind with this writing challenge so I will most likely write in clusters of two from now on, especially since we will be travelling to Greece this weekend and will be away the whole Halloween week.
Last week we remembered, as a community of bereaved parents, our lost children. It was a bitter sweet evening, seeing the Internet light up with candles and the realisation that so many beloved souls are away, waiting for us in Heaven.
We also took Saturday evening to spend with local bereaved families, get to know them and their surviving children and remember together our babies, gone too soon. I am so grateful for this community to which we were only introduced this September and I am so thankful that we do not have to do this journey alone. The pain of losing a child is terrible but carrying the burden alone is equally painful. I am also grateful for the fact that Emma has found friends among the children present there and she now understands that we are not alone in having lost a precious baby.
Last weekend proved very emotional for me. Then came the two unkind emails I wrote about. So this past weekend I decided to shut off completely. I didn’t go to church, I didn’t get out of bed early on Sunday, I spent Saturday afternoon in complete bed rest and I ate a lot of crap. Time to recoup, regain strength, look after myself.
This doesn’t mean my mind has had a rest but. The reality of our baby gone too soon is always there. It’s just that some days I need to be left alone with my pain.
Mummy loves you, Baba Boo. She never stopped loving you, thinking of you, missing you, wishing you were here! You are always here, in my thoughts, in my heart, in my empty arms! Love you, now and forever more, Georgie boy!