Comments 16

Santa’s Perfect Chair

“Dear Santa,

I know that you have been working very hard this past few weeks.

People think it is sort of adorable seeing babies and children all day, listening to their sweet little wishes and having your picture taken like a celebrity but I am sure your job comes with its own risks, as we have also seen lately.

Only the other day, we saw you sprawled while on the job (and very uncomfortably looking so, too!) when this baby refused to wake in your presence!


There are also the times when children refuse to accept the general concept of a benign Santa who wants them no harm and would burst your ear drums if placed within an arm length of you. I am sure putting a smile on your face after that can be quite taxing on your emotions!


And what about all those pesky little ones who need to know if you are the real thing and prove it by pulling your carefully combed beard until your eyes water?


And if we thought the kids were bad, let’s not get started on the parents!

Have you got the blogger mummy yet this year, the one who shoves the professional photographer on the side and takes about 100 shots with her own camera, as she “needs them for her wee blog!”


Or the artificially-merry housewife for whom visiting Santa is the main event of the month and who has decked herself in holly and all things sparkle for the occasion?


Anyway, we get it. December can leave you, dear Santa, looking slightly worn for wear and grumpy ( I would be too, if Mrs. Santa insisted on me wearing THAT shirt!).

NILES, IL - DECEMBER 21: Sporting a natural white beard, Santa Claus waits for the next child to sit with him at Golf Mill Shopping Mall December 21, 2004 in Niles, Illinois. This Santa calls himself a "natural" Santa with real white hair and beard, and said children feel more comfortable when he is not wearing his traditional coat and hat. (Photo by Tim Boyle/Getty Images)

So this year, instead of asking for stuff, I decided to be a good girl and make a wish list for you, which I am sure you would approve of!

At the top of the list I have put adjustable riser recliners, for those evenings when you need to relax your sore back(side) and chill, after a long day’s work at the local grotto!

I have also added squeaky toys and sweets that you can hide in your pockets and pass onto the children before they have a chance to get spooked by your looks. They can work really well if they do get spooked, nevertheless, as you can blame the squeaky toys for the crying!

For the sassy ones, I have put together a few threat phrases you can whisper in their ear when they play the amateur detective and attempt to reveal your authenticity, like “The Elf will not return tonight if you touch that!” or “I call the police for children who physically molest me!

Practice pulling faces for the case of blogger mum, they get discouraged when the subjects do not collaborate for those picture perfect shots and do stock on miniature whiskey bottles for the mummies who need cheering up!

Anyway, do try and look at the bright side, Christmas is nearly upon us so not long before you will get back to the South Pole (yeah, my six year old informed me last night that I had the poles wrong all  my life!) and get to chill in your peaceful cottage, away from the madding crowds!

Disclaimer: we had loads of fun putting this sponsored post together for AdjustableBeds.

This entry was posted in: Writing


Mum of one beautiful girl on earth and one sweet baby boy in heaven. Daughter of a wonderful woman. Wife of a very entrepreneurial man.


  1. londonbirdlucy says

    HAha very funny! I have seen all those Santas a lot!🙂
    Santa definitely needs a recliner, it would make his job so much better! lol

  2. Haha this made me laugh, I love the photos too. I noticed that one about the sleeping baby with Santa doing the rounds on Facebook, it’s something we all want to replicate now!x

  3. This did make me chuckle. My boys and husband were near the Santa who signed to the little girl in our local town. It was a joyous thing to see

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