I have been asked, again and again about when I will get back to writing. My succinct answer has always been: “When I will feel the liberty to write.”
You see, when life alters your duty as a parent is to shield and protect. Even when you feel like tearing through, you need to keep your priorities right and your head level.
But I have missed writing. I have missed my blog. I have missed bearing my soul as a cathartic process and allowing a faithful yet quiet audience to walk with me through the depths of re-finding myself.
So I thought I’d write an update. I need to thank all of you lot who kept reminding me to be me. Who re-read my blog posts on grief and found hope and healing. I need to thank the soul who recently discovered my blog and persistently asked when I will get back to it. To me, in the written and public version.
Emma and I are doing well. We have had two years of growth, of bonding, of rebuilding trust, of joy. Of building strong friendships with each other and with an amazingly supportive network of friends.
We have travelled. We have developed. We have had amazing adventures and made precious friendships that will last a lifetime. We have grown in understanding: of the world, of ourselves, of the human heart.
But I can hear you, the ones who can read through lines and emotions, the ones who have got to know me really well over the years.
But how are YOU?
I am well.
I truly am.
The decision I made, three years ago, to pull myself through the pain of losing my son and start living again? To use my experience in the children’s cancer ward and turn it into something useful? To use the compassion and love for the most vulnerable and translate it into action?
Those decisions have transformed my life.
I used that same determination to explore and to learn about myself. To explore possibilities that B.G. (before Georgie) would have been sheer and bold impossibilities.
I need to thank my all-enduring bestie and those two handful of truly faithful friends who have walked with me through disasters, laughs, messes, disappointments, disillusionment and then, the reborn hope. Always that hope for more and for the best.
I am entering a very exciting new chapter in my professional life, alongside and with the support of a crew of people who have got to know and, dare I say, love me. And I am grateful for every single kindness and opportunity to grow that I was given in the past year and a half.
And my hope keeps growing. For more. And for the best of times ahead. In all the areas of my life.
Oana, to waken up and read this first thing this morning has made the weekend ahead seem brighter! You deserve this time, you and Emma. Love to you both x
How my heart lifted reading your post. I often think of you and Emma. Your writing has always touched me in its honesty and eloquence . Hope is a wonderful word for you both.