Parenting, Writing
Comments 17

Word of the week: Hope

Guys, I have been struggling this week. A lot…

I don’t know if it’s the accumulated tiredness. The fact that the breakthrough last week didn’t last and we ended up in the A&E on Saturday morning with an inconsolable baby only to have him diagnosed with reflux and given…Carobel. Or the fight I had to fight on his behalf with the GP in order to have George put on the special hypoallergenic milk Emma was on, since I know it works for refluxy babies. Or the feeling that my postnatal depression is coming back with a vengeance and that I am like trapped in a dark hole from which I cannot escape. Or that I lost it completely on Tuesday morning and after dropping Emma at the childminder’s I called a friend and told her I just couldn’t go home to listen to the baby crying the whole day and could I go and see her?

Luckily she is a mum too and she took me in, took over the baby’s care and allowed me to rest the whole day in one of her daughters’ bedrooms…

Luckily, I have figured out that the baby likes rocked when he is sore and he has spent a lot of his days(and part of his nights) in his car seat, in the pram.

Luckily my mum arrived yesterday and things have started to look up a bit, with her doing the cooking and the baby walking in the mornings now. I am dreaming of sleeping when she is out with him but no chance this week, with the mid-term break and Emma panicking when I close my eyes, as if I will never open them again…

Luckily and so very differently from when I had Emma, I have a great health visitor who understands what I am going through and has already referred George to be seen by a pediatrician.

Luckily this time around I know my feelings aren’t normal and I have an appointment to see the GP next week…

So I am clinging on to HOPE. Hope that George will settle and whatever is plaguing him will leave him soon, either with medication, with prayer or with time. Hope that I will emerge out of this dark hole sane and soon. Hope that the sun will shine on my side of the street too and that I will not live with the terror of the next “crying session.” Hope that I will be the mummy and the wife I am supposed to be. Hope I will be strong again…


This entry was posted in: Parenting, Writing


Mum to one beautiful girl on earth and one sweet baby boy in heaven. Privileged carer. Encourager and friend.


  1. mummytries says

    Oh hon, I can really empathise with how you’re feeling. Keeping my fingers crossed that George becomes more settled real soon, and your mum is the magic answer you’ve been hoping for xx #WotW

  2. ionelaangelo says

    O sa revina totul la normal, draga mea. Sunt sigura. Faci f bine ca recurgi la ajutorul prietenilor/mamei, etc. E fireasca aceasta etapa. Insa e doar o etapa. Georgie nu va ramane asa pt totdeauna. Creste in fiecare zi. 🙂 Faptul ca esti constienta de felul in care simti cred ca deja te “pune” cu un pas inainte. Asta e un lucru bun. O sa treaca, trust me!!!

  3. Oh, dear sweet Oana those first few weeks can be overwhelming and to have so much going on must be challenging. Sometimes it’s OK to struggle and well done for asking for help, When you have a breakdown, go through it and grow through it.Feel whatever it is and talk about it.You have a such a loving family.
    Great your mum is here and I hope that will help you, too.
    Being aware of your feelings and dealing with them is the first step to making yourself strong and taking responsibilities.
    You can do this. Having to take care of one more person takes some time to adapt too, but I have faith in you and your abilities.
    Keep being gentle with yourself and say to yourself, that you are a wonderful mother and keep receiving all the love you can get from around you, all the care , all the help.You are a worthy woman and a caring mother.
    sending big hugs

    • Tough going, Iva. I think it’s the feeling of endlessness that gets to me. I know theoretically that it will get better but it’s the day in day out that is really hard right now.xx

  4. Oh my goodness! You poor thing, it sounds like you’re going through a very tough time and I really hope things get better for you. I wish I could do more to help you, my thoughts are with you. If you ever want to talk feel free to contact me any time x

    • Oh, Alexandra, thank you for the offer but I have my mum and friends here and an appointment with the GP about my postnatal depression, hope all will fall in place soon!xx

  5. Sending you understanding, kind thoughts and most of all the hope that you get treated with kindness and the gentleness that a time like this needs.

  6. Oh, Oana, I so wish I could help. You are the mum you’re supposed to be, it’s just so tough at the moment. I hope, too, that George gets some help sooner rather than later, and it sounds like you’re getting support from your mum, friends and a great health visitor. I’ll be really hoping for you, too xx Thanks for sharing with #WotW

    • Thank you, so kind of you to even offer! I have a lot of support and I should be okay in the long run, it’s just tough going at the moment, as you say!xx

  7. I hope so much that the sun shines for you soon my lovely. You are doing everything right, take strength in those who support you, and you will get there xx

  8. Twinlifeonline says

    I hope things get better for you soon. It’s good you have some support. Take care x

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