I live with my heart split in two. I have two lives at the moment. One is a “normal”, day to day existence where I go shopping for clothes with my four year old and we share a bun in a coffee shop. The other one is the world of central lines and chemo treatment and tube feeds. The heart-breaking bit is that they are all for my wee baby who is not even four months old…

Days before Georgie was diagnosed, I signed up for the #MorningStories Challenge. Back then, the challenge would have been to get both kids dressed and ready by 8.45, in time to get Emma to playgroup! Oh, if I could turn back the time…

Now, the challenges are much more complex. I try not to think at the other side of my life while I am with one of the children. Try not to worry about them missing me and me missing essential tidbits of their daily existence. A smile, a gurgle, a picture being painted, a deep thought being expressed, anguish being released…

I have two of everything now. Two sweet children. Two toothbrushes, one home, one in the hospital bag. Two pyjama bottoms. Two hair baubles, one in my bedside table drawer, one in my back pocket. And sometimes, two breakfasts. And sometimes none.

The other day the nurses were too busy prioritising the emergencies and had no time for me and my silly need for cereal and milk. So I was glad I had brought some of the BelVita breakfast biscuits with me, they saw me through the morning until things settled down and I got my milk. The lovely ladies at BritMums also sent me a Costa gift card which I will be putting to good use one of these rainy mornings, while baby is busy with the play therapist.

This post is an entry for the #MorningStories Linky Challenge sponsored by belVita Breakfast. Learn more at www.facebook.com/belVitaUK.

I am planning a big party once this ordeal is over and my baby home. If I win one of the 10 £100 John Lewis vouchers awarded I will put it towards our celebration of being together again!