Parenting, Writing
Comments 7

Advice we found helpful with an ill child

Since we found out Georgie was ill we received a lot of support and practical help, for which we are enormously grateful.

One of the other things we found really helpful was talking to people who have been through the same experience or similar.

So here are pieces of advice we found precious and have been clinging on:

1. Don’t blame yourself!

I have wracked my brain trying to figure out if I did something that might have caused the onset of Georgie’s leukemia. Was it that McDonald’s meal? The stress I had during pregnancy? Taking him to have his vaccines? The “what ifs” are torturous but the reality is that we have done nothing to have caused his illness.

It just happened.

To an apparently healthy baby.

And there was nothing we could have done to prevent it.

2. Don’t ask “Why?”

A father whose baby went through a similar experience told us something that left us breathless. He had prayed a lot about his baby’s illness and God asked him: “Why not?”

We are not guaranteed a trouble-free life when we are born into this world. Bad things happen. Even to sweet, innocent babies.

3. Trust the medical expertise

We have a handful of wonderful doctors and loads of nurses looking after Georgie. And we believe they are doing their very best to help. They are knowledgeable and have experience far above our own knowledge and experience. Ad we feel they are fighting this fight alongside us. It would be foolish not trusting them and being on two different sides!

4. Keep positive

Parents whose babies/small children survived cancer told us that during their ordeal they kept 100% positive and never even contemplated the other option. Babies and small children are very sensitive to our tone of voice and can easily “read” our emotions so by staying positive and trusting God you are setting an example. The opposite is also true.

5. Buy gear that makes life easier for you and baby during treatment

Georgie has a central line that needs accessed several times a day. A mummy who has been through the very same experience advices me to buy baby vests that open at the front so that Georgie doesn’t get upset when his central line is used. Valuable advice!

6. Take one day at the time!

Some days are tough, with fever running high and emotions running low. Take them as they come, give your burdens to God and wait for the following day. It is generally not as bad as the one you are living.

7. Accept help

Our church has been wonderful organising a meal rota for us. We felt humbled by their offer but came soon to appreciate the help. Yes, I am in the house every so often but my mind in not in cooking or cleaning the house. I use the precious time I have to create memories for Emma, to shop for things we have run out of and sometimes, to just crush in bed.

8. Enjoy your child

Yes, Georgie has tubes sticking out and sometimes it is hard to hold him but I always try to give him plenty of cuddles when we are together. I am his mummy and this is my main role: to love, comfort and encourage my baby to live, thrive and enjoy his life!

If you have been through a similar experience, please do share your advice! We find it truly useful!

110

 

7 Comments

  1. Great advice, wish I had this when our Ethan was ill.
    From our own experience I would add the following…

    1. Don’t try to ignore your feelings / emotions, you don’t need to be ‘strong’ all the time. Hubs thought he had to be the strong one, when it all finally became to much his breakdown was devastating.

    2. Take photos & make a diary; not sure if Georgie has a hospital diary, the PICU nurses made Ethan a diary in which they recorded not just his treatment but smiles, visits and things he did. Looking back over it, it’s nice to see just how much positivity there was during such a dark time. The photos really help when explaining the situation to the child and or siblings at a later date.

    I hope you find these useful, and that Georgie is doing well xx

    • Amanda, this is great, thank you! I try and take as many pictures as I can, not only for the years to come but for Emma and mum as well, they miss him a lot! I will let Alex read the first bit, he will certainly appreciate it.xx

  2. It’s beautiful what you have written, Oana!I admire your grace and strength.George is an adored and loved baby boy and he is being healed with all the care and love, that is around him.
    I can only imagine how you feel and sometimes I am lost for words, but I can always pray and send my utmost love your way.Every day. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  3. This is so right and all that I feel is missing is take time for you to recover and be gentle on yourself. when Maxi was ill at 6 months it took so much out of me and MadDad. Accept all the help you can. If the hospital offers you reflexology or anything, take it. You do need to be strong, but to do that you have to give time for yourself.

    Sending love

  4. I’m back! I just spoke to hubby about your situation, he suggested…

    1. If you’re unsure of anything, ask questions, sometimes the nurses are better at explaining things than doctors! Don’t be afraid to ask questions!

    2. Find something else to focus on everyday that isn’t related to your child’s illness; reading, exercise or whatever. You need an outlet for your emotions.

    3. Talk about it.

    Hope these help xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s