I get this question ten times a day at least and I answer politely with: “I’m ok.” Because I can’t pour my heart out time and time and time again and say to you: 1. I am frustrated My frustration overspills into my conversations and my interactions. To the point of ranting in Primark over toddler pants and leaving people perplexed at how vexed I can be over a pair of  pants missing from the pack. I am frustrated with our loss, in practical terms, not only emotionally. God knows how much energy, drive and determination it took to convince Alex to have another baby. And then He goes and takes this baby away. Just like that. As if to say, your efforts meant nothing. Go ahead, have another go. Start all over again. Bang your head against the wall of fear and insecurity and financial pressure, of marital discord. Put your body through another nine months of prenatal depression, puffed up everythings, weight gain, moods, tiredness. Just go ahead. I may or may not …

I have spent to much on this year’s Christmas shopping, hubby has informed me only last weekend. I did disagree with him, of course I did. And I did defend myself, bringing out my emotional weapons: ” I only have one child left.” “I do not want to be saving money, I would rather save memories.” “She needs to feel loved by her extended family and they can’t really afford/can’t be bothered sending gifts so I need to fill in for them.” “I am now making my own money and I want to spend it on her and other people, if I so please.” But I did agree with hubby on one point. If you shop this Christmas, and you must, who can do Christmas without shopping for family, friends and grocery shopping, then try and be shopping savvy and get the best deals and the best discounts you can. The last couple of years have seen the mushrooming of online coupon companies offering discounts for thousands of online merchants. This couponing trend had been …

Emma LOVES CBeebies still. Yes, she does refer to herself as a “big girl now, mummy!” but some things are still very much in fashion in our household. So when we were offered the chance to review the Q Pootle 5 Christmas Special DVD, I knew I was onto a winner with Emma and all the other preschoolers or reception year schoolers who would be in for a chance to win their own copy of the DVD! As expected, Emma wanted so watch it as soon as we opened the mail. Her honest review? “it was lovely mummy, it had Santa in it and it was funny and it had no scary bits in it, only joy!” Sounds like the ideal DVD to me for a small child, don’t you think so? Her only complaint? “It was too short, mummy!” Some facts about the DVD: 1. It launched in the UK yesterday, 17th of November. 2. It is a short (27 minutes) but exclusive, full of good cheer, Christmas episode. 3. For your Q Pootle …

I am back to my grief posts. I should have finished them in October but grief, exhaustion and the disruption of a week in Greece got in the way. Carly Marie’s prompt for day 19 of the grieving journal was an encouragement to give a bit of us to others in the moments we feel at our lowest. I have started a new habit with Georgie’s passing. I have taken to giving joyfully and meaningfully, randomly and spontaneously. I can’t wait for the conditions to be right. I can’t wait for our finances to be perfect. I can’t wait. Full stop. I feel this urge to bless, whenever and in whatever way I can. My bank account may have suffered a bashing and will take a little while to recover but I do not care. I am not greedy or wasteful. I use money for the sole purpose of giving joy to others, with any opportunity that is presented to me. My bank account will recover. Money comes and goes. But opportunities don’t. I know …

I love observing the passing of the seasons and I love dressing my home to reflect the changes in nature. I believe every house-proud woman does, wouldn’t you agree? I believe we were created to vibrate in tone with our surroundings and we are influenced by what the eye sees and the heart feels. Our house is always reflecting the outdoors and the season we are in. It is a very tangible way of teaching Emma to respect the nature, to understand the changes and to treasure and learn to recreate in her turn a sense of homeliness and comfort. This autumn, even with Georgie missing from our midst and with my heart bleeding continuously and constantly for him, I consciously made the decision to follow through with our traditions and deck the house in autumn décor. For Emma’s sake, for a sense of security that comes from routines and constants in our lives but also from a very deep need within myself to surround myself with living and beautiful things. We also try to …