I don’t have a place where I go to grieve and connect with Georgie. Simply because he is always, always in my thoughts. I carry him in my every breath, in my every action, in my every dream. But if I was to name a place where I prefer to grieve is the sacredness of my kitchen. That is where we rocked him to sleep for three months. That is where I cried out and knelt down and begged in prayer for my precious boy’s life. That is where the most powerful battles were fought and the most painful fears materialised. That is where I was supposed to see my baby crawl and pull himself up, walk, run, chase his sister..But all I see is the picture of him as a forever baby. And that makes the space sacred. The daily challenge to balance my life between preserving memories and moving on with the mundane.

The prompt about books that helped during and with the grieving process took me back to the days and weeks after Georgie died. I couldn’t sleep for more that 2-3 hours at a time so I downloaded and read a lot on my Kindle. The first book I read after Georgie died was Sunshine after the Storm, “a collection written by mothers finding their way after the loss of a baby and child”. It was the perfect book for me, as a freshly grieved parent. The book is, as the subtitle says it, a collection of recounts and advice from bereaved parents with varied backgrounds, of various religious and with various belief systems. The book helped me understand that grieving is a very personal process, as personal as our individuality and gave me permission to grieve as I felt necessary. The book I read next would seem odd for a mother who had just lost her baby to cancer, but I needed to understand. To understand cancer from the patient’s perspective. Georgie was too small …

London City Airport has been running this very cool bloggers’ photography series, called #NoFilter, focusing on the raw beauty of various destinations in Europe(hence the #NoFilter). This month’s chosen destination is Switzerland, as I was delighted to find out and decided to join in. This post is my attempt to offer a still life of a majestically beautiful and vibrantly colourful country. I hope my photos will do it justice! Switzerland is a very emotionally-charged place for me, full of beautiful memories and still unfulfilled travelling potential. Lausanne and a summer children’s camp was the place where I won my first earnings. Which were more like pocket money, in all honesty, and which I spent swiftly on a “chocolat chaud” imagining how life must look like through the eyes of proper posh ladies like the ones in the picture below :-). Switzerland is the place where hubby proposed to me! A shy, almost unkempt girl who started living her own fairytale lulled by the mirage of the lake Léman and Montreux jazzy tales. Switzerland is the …

“Dear Mummy and Daddy, I have so many things to tell you, I don’t even know where to start. First of all, let me start by saying thank you! Thank you for giving me a chance to experience the wonder of life on earth. Yes, I know that you feel so very sad that you couldn’t have kept me longer and I know you would have given everything to have made me well, even your very own lives. But let me tell you, the things you did for me, the love you poured continuously and sacrificially into my life, they were so powerful and strong and make up in quality for the time you think we should have been given. I know I was and am loved. Without any shadow of a doubt. What a precious, precious gift to hold on to, until I will see you again! I know that you both struggle for answers. If you were here, seeing what I see and feeling what I feel, you would realise that these answers …