All posts tagged: religion

To the mother whose child was just given the all clear…

I rejoiced with you this week, when I read your good news. I rejoiced with you from the darkness of my bereaved parent existence, knowing that you will never get to know my reality. I rejoiced for your son and I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing the pain my son endured in the last two weeks of his life and that fact that yours was spared all that, and you the totally heart-wrenching feeling of helplessness of having to watch him die. But your social media update, which was picked up by so many churches, individuals and even by a local newspaper, made me very sad too. You see, your update, as hope giving as it is meant to be, (as I do suspect you see it now as your life “testimony” to the Church, a confirmation they so desperately seek of a God who can perform miracles), has totally left out several facts and a huge group of parents and believers who have fought “the good fight”, just like you, but never pulled …

Dear Religious Leader…

Last week, my Facebook page exploded. I made statements that were taken as affronts and there were lengthy and sometimes harsh reactions to my reality of hurt. Meanwhile, things have been addressed and waters have been cleared. But if I had learned anything during this first year of grief, is that religion has moved far away from what it initially was meant to be. So I decided to write a letter. A letter addressed not only to Christian leaders everywhere but to all religious leaders as I know that my situation has not been singular as a bereaved parent. So, here goes: “Dear Religious Leader, A long or short time ago, you felt a calling in your heart to serve God with your life and make ministry your job. I know that you came from a place of dedication, genuine interest and love for your God and His people. But the years have passed, social strategies have been accepted as the Bible or Torah or Qur’an and simple sentiments like hope, compassion and companionship have …

Do you know…

Do you know how close I am to the brink each and every day? Do you know how much it takes out of me, to act as if everything is okay? Do you know how my heart aches when I see your brand new boy? Do you know how far I feel from everything that will ever mean joy? Do you know how much courage it takes to choose to live every single day, When the alternative to stop breathing and wither away brings less disarray ? Do you know how your never tested faith reeks insult to my broken heart? Do you know how your reminders of heaven nail me to the ground? Do you know that it can never be enough, To have only one child with me, while the other’s shadow hangs over us? Do you know how hard it is to reveal my bruised heart to you, Knowing that, most likely, you do not have a clue? Do you know that my baby has been gone now 11 months, And that …

Reality check

We have been living a lie, as a community of “believers.” We have become lazy in challenging the beliefs that are being shoved into us. We have trusted trends of Christianity and have put miles between us and the Truth. If we go back in history, church didn’t start from the need of a social club. From the need to “have a group to identify with.” To meet up once or twice a week and be nice to each other over a cup of tea and a lukewarm sermon. Church started out of pain. Pain of Jesus on the cross. Pain of children losing their families to persecution and lions. Pain of losing social status over following Jesus. Pain was always in the plan. This has been my revelation this weekend. Only the church grew out of pain. At some point, it actually started causing pain. Crusades and such. It never stopped after that. It took different shapes and it was called different names. And then, pain and death become associated with punishment, since it …