I have been praising my older one for being so accepting and understanding of the baby situation. But I suppose everything and everyone has a limit and she reached her acceptance and tolerance level this week.
It didn’t happen all of a sudden. The tell-tale signs had been there: clinginess when going somewhere; unexplained tears and moods. But at the beginning of the week they took a turn for the worse with her waking up at 5.30 on Monday and telling us she didn’t want to go either to playgroup nor to the childminder. On Tuesday it all culminated with floods of tears on the way to the nursery and her telling me: “I want to hide, mummy…so you can’t find me…and send me to the childminder…but you can find me so easily…”. My heart broke. Right there. I knew I had to amend this situation.
So I called the childminder and explained. Then we took time, just for the two of us, on Tuesday after playgroup. She wanted McDonald’s for a treat. And a dress for the summer. And I took her afterwards for a bun to top it all up.
She has been better but we had to give the childminder notice. I had less time to rest in the afternoons. And I had to call in the local nursery and see if they can have Georgie for a couple of afternoons a week, so I can have exclusive time with Emma.
And I have been tired. Tired of the fact that I am not enough for both my children at the moment. Tired of my imperfect solutions.
But hey, this is life, right? Nothing is perfect, all we can do is try our best!