Today’s blogging challenge launched by Mumnumbered( and by the way, I am writing this from a stubborn iPad which won’t allow me to add links to the website quoted above!) is a favourite quote.

I have none.

But I like reading and citing quotes daily, quotes that got my attention that particular moment in time.

The other day I read this one, by Corrie ten Boom. “A religion that is small enough for our understanding would not be big enough for our needs.”

I would go a step forward and take religion out of the equation, since I care not about any form of religion and replace it with God.

“A God that is small enough for our understanding would not be big enough for our needs.”

As much as I would love to believe in a “safe” deity who could be manipulated into doing what I want Him to do, like protecting my baby’s life from illness or saving him gloriously from death when I pray, I know that such a God would easily let me down.

He would be weak, as He will need guidance from mere mortals.

He would be confused, as He would have to respond to contradictory requests coming from different individuals.

He would become easily overwhelmed with the amount of ridiculous demands we would make of Him.

He would need holidays and sabbaticals from the human neediness and sorrow.

But the God I believe in goes beyond my understanding. He knows how to comfort when the human heart is traumatically bruised. He has made a way for us to be reunited with the ones we love. He understands pain personally since He lost a Son himself. He knows when to talk and when to be quiet. He never tells inept things like: ” I have allowed  for your baby to die so you can be spiritually elevated”, like some of His self-appointed and delusional prophets have told us. Or ” at least you got to serve him while he was alive.” Or “he is better where he is.”

No, God has actually been quiet since my baby died. Cause He knows me. And he knows that at the moment I am not ready to listen. He has made me and He knows I need time to vent. And question. And cry. And miss my precious baby son.

But I know He will speak when I am ready. He will understand me and my needs and will pour the healing when the time is right.

He will come through when He sees fit.

Until then, I choose to believe in a God wiser that me. A God sensitive enough to keep the distance but close enough not to let me slip into despair. A God bigger than my understanding!