Author: Oana

Coping Toolbox for the Bereaved

Published by

The other day I saw this image on the Facebook wall of a post-traumatic stress disorder support group and it got me thinking and realising that instinctively, I have created in time a coping bereavement box for us, as a bereaved family. Things in our virtual box have changed as our grief continues to evolve and integrate into the fabric of our lives. In the first year after Georgie died, we had a memory box downstairs with memorabilia people had so kindly given us in his memory: little glass dragonflies, sympathy cards, wee trinkets from the hospital, some of his name tags from when he was born, flower seeds… Emma was allowed to open it every time she needed to and add things into it so after a while, it did over spill with angel drawings and scribbles, notes she wanted to send to her wee brother in heaven. We had also a memory wall which I had put together and which brought me (but not Alex) great comfort. One day, in a fit of …

On the new year, expectations and reality

Published by

I wrote my last blog post for 2015 on the 22nd of December. Two weeks and three days off to enjoy a quiet Christmas time with Emma and Alex, to take a trip down to Dublin for a bit of sale shopping and rest; to ignore the cruel arrival of another year, which takes us even further away from the memories we have of Georgie. Life is never simple anymore when you have lost a child. Occasions that make others want to celebrate make bereaved parents retreat into their shell and wish it all away. Marital conflict stops being easy to mend with an apology and a kiss it better attitude. When you survive on little energy for lengthy periods of time, like any bereaved parent does, a “silly little” fight leaves you completely drained for absolute ages. I have found myself growing totally intolerant to small talk, to respecting social and religious rules and constraints and to pleasing people. Even the closest of people. People speak of a new persona emerging after loss and …

The evolution of toys through time

Published by

  House of Fraser released this Christmas a beautiful infographic showing how some of the most popular toys have evolved over the course of the past 50 years. I have found the facts in it fascinating, from Barbie having had over 150 careers in her existence (and sadly, a body makeover that has distanced it from reality!) to the evolution of the Nerf guns style and size to a set of collectible Hot Wheels selling for over $6,000 on eBay! The fact that so many toys have remained popular and evolved through the ages proves that once a good toy builds a reputation, its name alone has the potential to carry it through generations. To me, this infographic also proved a love affair that continues through generations and the fact that most parents will continue to buy popular brands for the sake of fond childhood memories. Do take a look yourself at the infographic and let me know what of the many facts included startled or impressed you, will you? Disclaimer: we were compensated to …

Two Christmases

Published by

We are approaching a second Christmas without our baby boy. Well, actually, without our toddler, as Georgie should be nearly 2 now, a stroppy, funny and full of beans child and not only a memory on a shelf. We have felt, once we have completed one year onto our loss journey, that the pressure has been mounting for us to start behaving “normally”. My posts on bereavement have been getting less and less views and comments  and the interaction on my Facebook page with bereavement posts is sometimes zero. I get it, life moves on. For us, it has had to move on too, mainly because we have Emma to look after and care for but also because we have started to dare imagining a future, and not only surviving on a day to day basis. I think the turning point has been when we reached the point of what I call “no more questioning“. Acceptance. Both Alex and myself have reached a point now when we don’t want to ask the “why?” questions anymore. …

Santa’s Perfect Chair

Published by

“Dear Santa, I know that you have been working very hard this past few weeks. People think it is sort of adorable seeing babies and children all day, listening to their sweet little wishes and having your picture taken like a celebrity but I am sure your job comes with its own risks, as we have also seen lately. Only the other day, we saw you sprawled while on the job (and very uncomfortably looking so, too!) when this baby refused to wake in your presence! There are also the times when children refuse to accept the general concept of a benign Santa who wants them no harm and would burst your ear drums if placed within an arm length of you. I am sure putting a smile on your face after that can be quite taxing on your emotions! And what about all those pesky little ones who need to know if you are the real thing and prove it by pulling your carefully combed beard until your eyes water? And if we thought …