All posts filed under: Writing

On judgement

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We sat around the kitchen table, over a rushed bowl a soup and a quick chat. I love and care for her deeply, even if we have only been friends for three quarters of the past year. I don’t know if the affinity is that of souls who have known the pain of loss or the similarity of our existences. And she told me about her worries about how people perceive her. And I heard myself say to her what I had said to many others before: “Why do you care what others think of you?“ But then, perhaps because of my love for her, my soul found a way to enunciate it clearer than ever before. It said: “We are multifaceted beings, my dear, and what people usually judge us by is the one facet they know or need us to be. But you are more, much more than that.” It was like a revelation, the thought so clearly formed and put into almost visual shape. In the days that have passed, since we …

A good night sleep…

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As you all know, I have been suffering on and off from insomnia, for the past two and a half years, since I got pregnant with Georgie. Recently, it has become so bad that it did affect my capacity to function well and work and I have had to take a bit of time off my day job. Sleep is extremely important to any of us and it is one of those things we never realise the importance of, until we go without for a length of time, just like our health or our holidays. I have recently been invited by MattressNextDay to look into UK’s sleeping facts and figures and I must admit, it left me wanting to make some drastic changes to the way I unwind each night. I am partially self-employed so I spend my evenings working in front of the laptop and, to my shame, I carry work into the bedroom when the pressure is there to do so! Looking at the below infographic, using your tablet or mobile phone in …

Blogging Edge Blog Awards

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Once again, I have had the great honour to be shortlisted for a bloggers’ award. The Blogging Edge Parenting blog award, this time. I have been campaigning shamelessly on my Facebook after I recovered from the shock of being nominated as one of the 5 best parent bloggers in the UK but now, I need to take this publicly and invite you all to spare 30 seconds and cast a vote in my direction: This blog has seen me go through the hell and back in the last year and a half. And even if numbers do not always mean everything, right now, and this time, I do need this public recognition so, so badly. I need to know that to you all, Mama’s Haven has been and continues to be an encouragement and beacon of light. To you on the dark road of cancer diagnosis, loss, bereavement and beyond the funeral service. To the rest of you, I need to know that it is an inspiration and not only a source of amusement, a …

What this mummy loved in…September

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I have entered a season of change and I have felt the almost overwhelming need to look after myself in the last month. In my last personal post I was talking about taking time off to figure out how things will go from here. Things haven’t been as straight forward as I would have needed them to be, as, in spite of being signed off work for a couple of weeks, peace has eluded me. Hubby suffers from what we now know to be SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and instead of being able to rest, I have been worrying constantly last week about him (as his sadness seems to be much worse this year) and the future. So, my only way to find peace has been to draw on things that have brought me joy in drops this season. Here is a list of things that this stressed out mummy has found comfort in this past month: Self-care, in the form of Bach flower remedies as drops into my drinking water, a little pampering session …

A Season For Change

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I need to make some changes in my life and I need time to understand what they need to be. I have been waking up again at night, for the past week. Every SINGLE night! It is the sort of full wakefulness that gets me up at 3 a.m. and keeps my head busy for hours. It got me so desperate for head peace that I had to ask work for a redistribution of my working hours, so that I can have two days a week to rest and think and decide what the next stage of my life is supposed to be. Decision is pending and my sanity does seem to be pending on the decision, to a degree. It does feel like my grief has reached a new stage. Our wonderful social workers, from the Royal and the Hospice, both had warned me that grief changes and stages like this are completely natural. Ha, the natural of the completely unnatural process of grieving for your lost child… Shortly after I lost Georgie, I …