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Father’s Day Gifts with a difference and giveaway

Published by Oana

Sunday the 21st of June will mark Father’s Day here in the UK.

If you have a fussy husband as I do, who is not content with the easy and practical gift of a set of boxers, booze or a hearty meal, then you may want to consider these three alternatives as possible gifts.

Hello Hungry liquid meals in a box.

I was sent the three versions of Hello Hungry to sample and review a few weeks back. It was during the very stressful month of May (I wrote about in my previous post) and I was feeling rotten with repeated throat infections and colds. I used the drinks not as lunches but as mid-morning snacks. Very handy and packed with healthy stuff your body needs “for survival in the office(or in my case, school) jungle“, the drinks gave my mornings a boost and dare I say, helped my compromised immune system survive the stress?

I was not too partial to the tomato and basil version(personal taste, nothing to do with the product) but I loved the flavour of the other two. The mango, spinach and peach version was right up my street and the strawberry, carrot and beetroot one left me craving for more.

Hubby was impressed too with the presentation and the possibility of a healthy alternative to a rushed lunch of soggy sandwich and crisps so I think this would be definitely a winner as a possible Father’s Day present with a twist(of beetroot!).

If your think your hubby or father could benefit from the same treatment, make sure to put in a pre-order, the product is about to be launched in the UK.

Hands(or rather, feet up) if your hubby is like mine when it comes to physical appearance, cleanliness and hygiene and slightly exasperates you by spending more time in personal grooming than you do!

Mine is and although I love a good looking and lovely smelling man, I always end up buying him the statutory(but not very exciting) aftershave or cologne.

But not this time, ladies, not this time!

This year, hubby is getting his own MICRO-Pedi grooming gadget, which promises to be the latest “ground-breaking grooming tool” and will hopefully leave him with smooth and lovely looking heels. For those torrid Greek summer days at the pool, of course!

The set usually retails at £34.95 but as a special Father’s Day offer, it will sell for £19.95 only. Check your nearest chemist or the company’s website for the offer.

British Tea Lovers, a new online tea shop that opened in 2015, has designed and created a limited edition Father’s Day gift. This beautifully designed tea tin comes with a special message on the top For A Special Dad and would make a lovely and thoughtful gift for any tea-loving father out there!

The packet of 100% Ceylon loose leaf black tea would look great on the kitchen top. Where they can find it easily and make themselves a lovely cup of tea, of course :-).

The great news is that I have one packet to give away to a lucky and well deserving father!

Please follow my Gleam link to take part in the competition and win your dad or hubby a beautiful tea gift!

A Weekend on the North Coast

Published by Oana

The North Coast of Ireland should be on everyone’s bucket list, it really should!

We love it there and were delighted when Cancer Fund for Children offered us a long weekend away in one of their cottages in the area, as we knew there will be plenty to do and see over the three days!

We decided to make the most of the gorgeous weather and kicked off our weekend with a picnic in the fresh air, overlooking the Whiterock beach. Alex had made some gorgeous prawn and salad wraps that we devoured, almost tasting the sea salt in the air.

My brother fancies himself a connoisseur of spirits and other strong drinks so we couldn’t miss the opportunity and visit the Bushmills Distillery since we were only a stone’s throw away. I would have loved a tour of the place, just to give a clear account of tastes to my brother 🙂 but since children under 8 are not allowed, due to the strong fumes in the distillery, we had to do with a visit to the gift shop only.

Our first day finished with a Morelli’s ice cream in Portstewart. We joked, as Europeans who were raised in warm countries, with very hot summers, saying that we have come to appreciate an ice-cream, even in 10 degrees and in pouring rain, if the calendar says it is time for one :-).

Image credit: Morreli’s of Portstewart

Our Sunday was not as sunny but we still managed to fill it to the brim with exciting visits and discoveries, all thanks to the National Trust.

We have recently become members of the National Trust and have already enjoyed visits to a number of properties in Northern Ireland: Florence Court and Castle Coole are beautiful and we found the visit very educational, for both Emma and ourselves :-).

Castle Coole image credit: National Trust website.

This time, we got to visit a smaller property, Hezlett House, one of the oldest thatched cottages in Northern Ireland, which is adjacent to the beautiful Downhill Demesne House and the magnificent Mussenden Temple.

But the two most spectacular sights we got to see and totally fell in love with, once again, have been the Carrick-A-Rede rope bridge and the Giant’s Causeway.

The Carrick-A-Rede is a spectacular and one of a kind visit, which is exhilarating for both young and not so young alike.

Emma got to walk in the fresh air, to explore the nature and the beauty of the country she was born in and which she perceives as home:

She was so impressed with the rope bridge and talked continuously about it for the rest of our stay. She was so brave crossing it, much braver than mummy, I must say!

Personally, I found Giant’s Causeway a bit too comercialised for my taste, since the new center was built. I found the place almost crowded and overtly touristy but Emma and Alex enjoyed the electronically guided tour and the beautiful views:

For the first time ever, Emma was capable to discern between the scientific truth about the rock formation and the legend of the Giant but loved both sides equally.

She kept asking about the reasons why people had to come up with a story to explain the stunning rocks. I had to explain that sometimes, people prefer a beautiful story to the bare truth…

I have only skimmed the surface and shown you a very small selection of the pictures we took over the weekend. I hope they have convinced you to put a visit to the North Coast on your bucket list and also, to sign up for National Trust membership, as there are over 500 stunning places in the whole of the UK waiting to be discovered and enjoyed!

This time last year…

Published by Oana

This is what I used to wake up to this time last year.

And although the going was horribly hard and we were stuck in a hospital room and NEVER allowed out, for fear of infections, this little sweet face brightened my day.

Every day.

I have realised that most of you didn’t know us back then so this was meant to be an insightful blog post into what the cancer ward really is for a family.

I wanted to tell you how exceptionally draining it was on our marriage, on our bodies, on our emotions to live apart.

To not be together as a family for over two months.

To live out of suitcases and plastic bags.

To live off food that people kindly cooked for us all those weeks.

To wish your daughter good night over the phone, with her crying and asking you to come home.

To see your own mother crumble every time you walked in through that door, bone-weary and burdened to the ground with the load of your baby’s illness.

To drive like a zombie, leaving that sweet, sweet face behind for two more days, enough time to rest and vainly attempt to recharge your extremely depleted body and soul.

To explain that rest was never found, that the nights were spent in a heavy slumber that never brought relief.

How could it have been, knowing that half of your heart was not with you???

But instead….I saw his face.

His smile.

His eyes.

So trusting.

So full of love and life and promise.

And I need to tell you.

That I would do it again.

A thousand times over.

Just to see my boy smiling once again.

Just to be able to hold him one more time.

Pain is relative.

We were in pain back then.

But the pain of now, of not having him here, of not seeing him grow???

It is a thousand times worse.

Smiling on for you, little boy.

Till we meet again, I will honour your memory with a smile on my face.

No matter what my circumstances are.

You have taught me to appreciate life.

In every small and insignificant detail.

Missing your sweet face!

Mama

Forget Me Not

Published by Oana

This afternoon, we attended the annual Forget Me Not service organised by the Northern Ireland Children’s Hospice for the first time.

It was as emotional and raw and sweet and consoling as we had expected.

We cried and we remembered our precious children and we smiled at the memories we had made with them in the hospice.

Collective grief. Collective mourning. Collective beauty rising from the ashes of loss…

We heard about love that transcends death and time and makes a way for our emotions to find our lost beloved babes.

The pain of grief was compared to the thorn and the forget me not flower.

Grief is and forever will be for every parent and relative present there a painful reminder of what we have lost and also the ultimate indicator of how much we have loved.

Sorrow and sweetness, amalgamated in one.

Pain and endurance, blended together.

Coming together like this was sweet and sour as well.

It was like a soothing balm to be given the chance to remember our precious children in such a beautiful and dignified way. But it was also very painful, the visible reminder of so many young lives lost and so many families devastated by death.

Tomorrow will mark the beginning of the Children’s Hospice Week in the UK.

Please take a moment to remember all the precious little lives that ended too early due to illness.

Please consider also donating to a hospice nearby you, so that the wonderful but heartbreaking task of providing palliative care to terminally or very ill children will continue to be provided at the same excellent level.

With my heart full of pride and sorrow at the thought of a little baby boy who has made his way into the light before me, I bid you all good night.

I’ve been shortlisted for a BiB award in the ‘Inspirational Blogger’ category so if you would like to see me reach the final 5, please do consider voting for Mama’s Haven here.

Nominations for The Mad Blog Awards are also open. Again, if you would like to nominate me in the writer category, it takes just 2-minutes and you can do so here.

Ten months on: life as a bereaved parent

Published by Oana

How can it be ten months and four days since my son died?

This is what grief has taught me in these past ten months:

1. Pain never leaves your heart but it takes other forms as time goes by

The pain is not of the same intensity as it used to be in the first few days and weeks after Georgie died. I do not feel electric-like shocks when I pass by baby clothing aisles, when I hear the name of George, when I see someone pregnant.

I have started to recover my memory. Not entirely, I don’t think it will ever be as before but I can now remember conversations and people’s names and dates.

I have started to function almost normally again. I work, I look after the house, I blog.

But…

I still write when I am in pain.

I do eat too much when I am in pain.

I rage at nothing and everything when I am in pain.

I have realised that I have started to pull away when I am in pain. It is easier to preserve energy than waste it on people who cannot understand pain.

2. Loss has become my biggest motivator

The loss of my son and the overwhelming desire to make his existence count have become the two main reasons for anything I do.

Anything gets filtered through the loss sieve.

I would do anything that I possibly can, anything that is in my power to raise awareness about childhood cancer and children hospice care.

I had two interviews this week and will be attending two other events in the coming days, all related to Children’s Hospice Week. All emotional. All pain triggers.

But I do it all not because I am brave but because my life is now driven by the desire to serve and make life bearable for very ill children and parents like us.

3. Clarity is the name of the game

In one of the interviews I had this week, I was asked how loss has changed me.

In spite of the extreme confusion in the first few months caused by the severe trauma of losing a child to cancer, in the most horrid of ways, my life is now clear in its intentionality.

The things deemed important by my post-trauma self have become very important: integrity, compassion, love and dedication.

The things deemed unimportant do not, not even fleetingly, occupy my mind any more: gossip, small life dramas, meanness, envy and stupidity. There is no room in my life for them anymore. I refuse to make room in my life for them now.

4. Compassion radar

My soul has developed a sensor for pain and I find myself attracted, time and again, towards people who are in need of comfort.

I now know what to say.

And I have the courage to say it:

“I am sorry for your loss.”

“Loss never wears off your soul, just like love never does either.“

“Just find the strength for today.”

“Breathe.“

“Give us a hug.”

“Wish this was not reality for any of us.”

Deep connections.

Soul connections.

This is what we have been created for. And this is how I want to live my life.

5. Pain as a form of worship

I have let the floodgates open.

My emotion gates wide open.

Never hiding anything.

Not from people.

Not from God.

And these last weeks, I have been reading time and again, from various sources, written by different authors, the same revolutionary(for my grief) idea.

That raw, unfiltered expression of emotion can and is most likely perceived by God as a form of worship.

It does make sense.

If He is the One who made all these emotions, if He knows how much it hurts to lose a son, what good would it make to hide behind platitudes like: “His thoughts are not my thoughts” or “I find comfort in the thought that my son is in heaven.“

I do not. And I will not pretend to.

It hurts. Like hell.

It makes me so sad, the idea of living a whole life here without the presence of my beautiful son. So sad, that some days, I feel so very tempted to lie down and never get up again.

He knows it. He knows it all.

I will not hide it.

I will be honest and raw and sore in front of Him.

That’s what you do with someone you trust.

6. There will always be a hole in our hearts

I have learned to live with pain.

The yearning for my son never leaves my heart, nor my mind.

I have learned to do life with this big hole in my heart.

This gap that nothing will ever fill.

The only comfort I find is knowing that there are so many other crushed hearts in this world.

The only soothing balm is the one of the camaraderie of pain for now.

The reality of two blue eyes and a sweet, sweet little soul who flew away too soon…