All posts tagged: Baby Loss

Dear Religious Leader…

Last week, my Facebook page exploded. I made statements that were taken as affronts and there were lengthy and sometimes harsh reactions to my reality of hurt. Meanwhile, things have been addressed and waters have been cleared. But if I had learned anything during this first year of grief, is that religion has moved far away from what it initially was meant to be. So I decided to write a letter. A letter addressed not only to Christian leaders everywhere but to all religious leaders as I know that my situation has not been singular as a bereaved parent. So, here goes: “Dear Religious Leader, A long or short time ago, you felt a calling in your heart to serve God with your life and make ministry your job. I know that you came from a place of dedication, genuine interest and love for your God and His people. But the years have passed, social strategies have been accepted as the Bible or Torah or Qur’an and simple sentiments like hope, compassion and companionship have …

#LiveItForGeorgie

Many of my friends have asked recently about our plans for the 5th of July. On the day, we will mourn the loss of our baby boy afresh as the time will mark, cruelly, a year since Georgie left us. I know that this boy is loved by many more people than we will ever know and I decided to include you all in the marking of what has been the most difficult year of our lives. On the day, we will be on our own. We will spend the day remembering a sweet boy’s face, personality and character and will do things to honour his short life. This is where I want to invite you to take part. I want to launch a campaign called #LiveItForGeorgie. I want to invite you all, alongside family members and friends, to create a bank of memories in the memory of my boy. You see, Georgie never got to do many things on this earth. The simplest things, that we all take for granted. Like ….eating an ice …

Do you know…

Do you know how close I am to the brink each and every day? Do you know how much it takes out of me, to act as if everything is okay? Do you know how my heart aches when I see your brand new boy? Do you know how far I feel from everything that will ever mean joy? Do you know how much courage it takes to choose to live every single day, When the alternative to stop breathing and wither away brings less disarray ? Do you know how your never tested faith reeks insult to my broken heart? Do you know how your reminders of heaven nail me to the ground? Do you know that it can never be enough, To have only one child with me, while the other’s shadow hangs over us? Do you know how hard it is to reveal my bruised heart to you, Knowing that, most likely, you do not have a clue? Do you know that my baby has been gone now 11 months, And that …

This time last year…

This is what I used to wake up to this time last year. And although the going was horribly hard and we were stuck in a hospital room and NEVER allowed out, for fear of infections, this little sweet face brightened my day. Every day. I have realised that most of you didn’t know us back then so this was meant to be an insightful blog post into what the cancer ward really is for a family. I wanted to tell you how exceptionally draining it was on our marriage, on our bodies, on our emotions to live apart. To not be together as a family for over two months. To live out of suitcases and plastic bags. To live off food that people kindly cooked for us all those weeks. To wish your daughter good night over the phone, with her crying and asking you to come home. To see your own mother crumble every time you walked in through that door, bone-weary and burdened to the ground with the load of your baby’s …

Grieving journey

I haven’t written about our grieving journey for a while. But I live with grief, as an unwelcome foe that has been forced into my life. I cannot shake the reality of it. Oh, how I wish! I know that I have written before about the do’s and don’ts when it comes to dealing with grieving parents. Recently, I have felt the need of a new post, to include new strategies for coping with it and also hurtful things you SHOULD NEVER say to a hurting parent. 1. Don’t say “I could become like you by spending too much time in your company.” I get it, it is depressing and off putting to watch someone mop around over their dead child. But guess what? We did not choose to be in this position and I would give anything not to be here. Even my own life, to bring my child back and give him a future on this earth. 2. Don’t say: “I do not understand you.” We know that, we truly do. As bereaved …