Author: Oana

15 things that make me happy

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  Today’s challenge from Outmumbered is writing about things that make us happy. Not the obvious, like the family and friends but the “small” and private bits. So, here goes: 1. Reading. My way of escaping reality and relaxing. 2. Coffee. Frappe with loads of milk and ice in the summer. Vanilla-flavoured coffee with milk in winter. And in Ireland. 3. Rain. Goes with the reading, the warm coffee and a fluffy blankie. 4. Notebooks. I am obsessed with pretty notebooks. 5. Babies. I find it hard being around them at the moment but I have always loved babies. 6. Hand and body lotions. Again, slight obsession. Ok, not so slight. One in every drawer in the house. 7. Autumn leaves rustling. Love the sound. 8. Travelling to new places. 9. Comfortable shoes/sandals. 10. Pretty dresses. Alex would tell you need to wear more of those and less jeans. 11. Writing 12. Blogging 13. The thought that one day I will see my boy again and be able to give him a big,squashy hug. 14. My …

Vivid memories

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Today’s challenge from Outmumbered is “vivid memory.” And since it’s a month to the day since Georgie died I will try and brave my memories and go back to the day I took him to the hospital, knowing in my heart of hearts that something was terribly wrong. My mum had left the previous Sunday(after being with us for three months) and he had seemed to do a bit better than he had done that week. He had been down with what we thought was a nasty diarrhea and mild fever. Waking up every two hours during the night with this weird sweat, only around his head. We had been shopping in Tesco’s like a normal wee family and took Emma to her drama class that Monday. And then, my precious boy stopped eating. Altogether. I remember that evening. Alex kept telling me Georgie was ok. That babies do that sometimes. But I remember this dread I couldn’t shake. This overwhelming fear. This ominous feeling. I Facebooked with mummy friends asking advice. I researched online. …

10 years from now

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Today’s challenge from Outmumbered is trying to see ourselves in 10 years time. If you had asked me this six months ago I would have replied like any “normal” mummy, who had not known grief and sorrow. I would have said I would have been the happy mother of a teenage girl and a preteen boy. With a normal job. And a normal marriage. But now we have crossed the threshold and are in the “beyond.” Beyond the unthinkable. Beyond our precious son’s death. Beyond the norm. So where do I see myself 10 years from now? I see myself living my life as if it mattered. I see myself creating and keeping alive a legacy in Georgie’s memory. I see myself as the mother of a teenage girl and if, God will choose to bless my womb, of another precious son or daughter. I see myself still married and still loving my husband. But I also see myself in the “beyond.” Beyond living my life as if it mattered, I see myself living it …

Day 3: Favourite quote

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Today’s blogging challenge launched by Mumnumbered( and by the way, I am writing this from a stubborn iPad which won’t allow me to add links to the website quoted above!) is a favourite quote. I have none. But I like reading and citing quotes daily, quotes that got my attention that particular moment in time. The other day I read this one, by Corrie ten Boom. “A religion that is small enough for our understanding would not be big enough for our needs.” I would go a step forward and take religion out of the equation, since I care not about any form of religion and replace it with God. “A God that is small enough for our understanding would not be big enough for our needs.” As much as I would love to believe in a “safe” deity who could be manipulated into doing what I want Him to do, like protecting my baby’s life from illness or saving him gloriously from death when I pray, I know that such a God would easily …

20 things about me

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With everything that has happened lately I stopped blogging. It has been merely pouring out my grief. So when I heard of the challenge launched by the lovely Outmumbered mummy blogger I decided this would be something I would like doing this month. I will try every day but if internet connections fail me, you will forgive me, won’t you! So here goes, today’s challenge. 20 things about me you may not know. 1. I am an introvert. I recharge in quietness. I love to read and need time on my own to process information and facts. 2. I was born in Romania but have lived in Northern Ireland for the past 8 years. 3. I love the colour blue. I went through a phase as a teenager when I wore ONLY blue… 4. I love God. But I have been really struggling in the past few weeks to comprehend why my baby had to die in such a cruel way, of such a horrible illness, at such a young age. And I have been angry with Him. …