Guys, I have been struggling this week. A lot… I don’t know if it’s the accumulated tiredness. The fact that the breakthrough last week didn’t last and we ended up in the A&E on Saturday morning with an inconsolable baby only to have him diagnosed with reflux and given…Carobel. Or the fight I had to fight on his behalf with the GP in order to have George put on the special hypoallergenic milk Emma was on, since I know it works for refluxy babies. Or the feeling that my postnatal depression is coming back with a vengeance and that I am like trapped in a dark hole from which I cannot escape. Or that I lost it completely on Tuesday morning and after dropping Emma at the childminder’s I called a friend and told her I just couldn’t go home to listen to the baby crying the whole day and could I go and see her? Luckily she is a mum too and she took me in, took over the baby’s care and allowed me …

It has been a roller coaster week for me, as it is expected when having a small infant in the house. What made it even more challenging was realising  that my breast milk had dried up due to stress and not eating right(couldn’t find the time!), having to put Georgie on formula, switching to a lighter one which made him literally squeal for a day and then, switching back to SMA and seeing my wee son settling down nicely, with only a couple of unsettled periods at bedtime and in the morning. Which we solve by putting him in his pram and and rocking him to sleep. So for me it feels like major BREAKTHROUGH, not having a baby in arms 24/7, getting longer stretches of sleep(last night he did a 4-hour one and then a 3-hour one but was sort of grizzling on and off after 5 a.m.) My mum is also coming next week and we managed to get bunk beds in Emma’s room yesterday so Bica and Emma can share a room. …

Life as a family of 4 This is us (daddy is taking the picture) on one of our first trips out as a family of 4. He was craving good pub grub so we drove to Carnlough and went for our favourites: Emma, you had pizza and chips, mummy had mussels and daddy had mash and sausages. Emma, these past two weeks have been difficult for you, sweetheart. You look happy and relaxed here because mummy and daddy are giving you their full attention, even for a few minutes, but baby, you have struggled with being the second fiddle, so to say, and I am guilt-ridden over it. You are awfully good generally but there are moments, like this morning, when mummy’s arms are full with baby when you come clean and tell me: “I am jealous with George, mummy.” I know things will improve, I know your Bica is coming in a week’s time and I will have help and more time to hold you but I feel for you, baby and I wish …