Mama's Haven

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It’s the simple things…

Published by Oana

It’s the simple things that make life worth living.

It’s not the power or the money or the game of winning.

It’s the breathing in of freshly cut grass.

It’s creme brûlée eaten with a teaspoon.

It’s the sound of the birds celebrating a new day.

It’s the freshness of a warm croissant flaking away.

It’s the love that you share with the ones you call your own.

It’s the giggles and the cuddles and the chatting about “your best day.”

It’s the realisation that my best day was when.

I held both my children close, delirious on the blessing of togetherness.

It’s the love that transcends time and grave and death.

It’s the knowing that the love chain that binds us together knows not of space nor of years.

It’s the simple things that make life worth living.

It’s the knowing that you, my boy, are never too far away,

As you live in my heart,

And my love pulses for you,only one heartbeat away.

#LiveItForGeorgie

Published by Oana

Many of my friends have asked recently about our plans for the 5th of July.

On the day, we will mourn the loss of our baby boy afresh as the time will mark, cruelly, a year since Georgie left us.

I know that this boy is loved by many more people than we will ever know and I decided to include you all in the marking of what has been the most difficult year of our lives.

On the day, we will be on our own. We will spend the day remembering a sweet boy’s face, personality and character and will do things to honour his short life.

This is where I want to invite you to take part.

I want to launch a campaign called #LiveItForGeorgie.

I want to invite you all, alongside family members and friends, to create a bank of memories in the memory of my boy.

You see, Georgie never got to do many things on this earth.

The simplest things, that we all take for granted.

….eating an ice cream.

…playing in the park.

…writing a check to a charity.

…writing a letter to a friend or total stranger.

…sitting on the grass.

…singing in the choir.

…hugging a friend in need.

…visiting a beautiful place.

…taking a stunning picture.

…playing a prank on a friend.

…taking a challenge to help others.

…collecting leaves.

…picking up flowers.

…ironing.

…shopping.

I invite you from now, until the 5th of July to join in and create a life for him here on earth.

Through your actions.

They can be as mundane or as heroic as you choose them to be.

Just choose a moment in your life.

Any moment.

And then, please, dedicate it to my boy.

Make the world a teensy bit better in his memory.

Send him a wave and a hug, which I feel strongly he will feel up above, where he is.

Envelop him with love in action on the day he was called home.

And let him know, as we will, that he was never forgotten, that he is always missed and that he is loved.

Oh, so loved…

#LiveItForGeorgie

Please tag and share your actions on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or, if you prefer to keep it private, send me a private message with the picture.

Thank you so very much!

Anger

Published by Oana

I am so angry tonight.

I don’t recall being so very angry ever before.

I am so angry I could punch someone, with the intention to harm and hurt.

I am so angry, I could smash my whole house down.

I am so angry, I had to get out of bed and come and write this as my therapy.

I am so angry, I do not care who reads this and how it could be misinterpreted.

I am so angry, I just want to scream.

Last night, I found out the cancer Georgie had has been doing fresh victims.

But most likely, my search for an answer to the “why?” will remain forever unanswered.

As people do not want to associate with parents who have lost their children.

As if losing a child makes me or my lost child losers.

They think they are special. Different. Not like me.

They do not understand that malignant cells do not have prejudices and unless stopped at the root cause, they will do the same harm, again and again and again.

I remember how drained and fearful and desperate we were last year.

But I know in my heart, if someone would have approached me and asked me to help them find answers, I would have done anything in my power to make finding a possible answer a possibility.

I do not understand.

It does not make your child have less chances of survival, if you support someone in their efforts to get to the bottom of things or show a bit of empathy and care.

A united effort, solidarity in front of such a cruel enemy can only bring good. If not for my child, it is too late for him, at least for others who will not have to suffer like mine did.

Hiding from reality behind lame excuses is not the appropriate weapon against cancer.

Making people feel like dirt, because their child died and yours hasn’t yet will not keep yours alive.

Why, oh why are we so cruel to each other?

Why, oh why, do we choose to trample over other people’s hearts in the vain hope that tragedy will not touch us by association???

We have all been given a destiny we cannot escape.

But we are “human” beings and not just mere animals when we show kindness and sympathy and compassion to one another in pain and in tragedy.

I feel so angry tonight.

I have never been so angry before.

It is like people are determined to prove my belief in humanity wrong.

It is like they are dead set on showing me that living is all about instinctual survival and never about care for the other fellow being.

And I refuse to live in a world like this.

There is little point in living in a world where being kind and caring and determined to reverse pain is seen as a curse, not as a quality.

I am so tired of this life game.

Prove me right, people, I beg you!

Prove me right!

Show me there are still enough kind people in this world to make living worthwhile.

With a very hurt heart, I bid you goodnight.

Do you know…

Published by Oana

Do you know how close I am to the brink each and every day?

Do you know how much it takes out of me,

to act as if everything is okay?

Do you know how my heart aches when I see your brand new boy?

Do you know how far I feel from everything that will ever mean joy?

Do you know how much courage it takes to choose to live every single day,

When the alternative to stop breathing and wither away brings less disarray ?

Do you know how your never tested faith reeks insult to my broken heart?

Do you know how your reminders of heaven nail me to the ground?

Do you know that it can never be enough,

To have only one child with me, while the other’s shadow hangs over us?

Do you know how hard it is to reveal my bruised heart to you,

Knowing that, most likely, you do not have a clue?

Do you know that my baby has been gone now 11 months,

And that I wish the time would hurry so we can have another hug?

Do you know that I have totally forgotten how to enjoy a sun ray?

How to genuinely smile without sadness following me like prey?

Do you know how it is to live empty of hope and trust and peace?

Do you know how ephemeral tranquility appears?

Do you know how heavy my load is and how

I choose to still love my dead child, despite the pain of now?

Do you know…and if you don’t…why do you stray,

Why do you choose to judge and never, ever stay,

To listen and to cry and to cuddle my pain?

To live it for a moment and keep the sadness at bay?

One day I will cross the bridge and I will find myself on the other side of pain.

But do you know that then your advice will not matter, as I will find myself finally HOME.

These boots are made for walking. A TRESPASS review

Published by Oana

I have been fantasing about a pair of walking boots forever.

Even more so from the beginning of this year, when we started exploring more of our beautiful Northern Ireland, I have felt the need of a pair of supportive, reliable and sturdy boots that will make the adventure of discovery a pleasure.

I finally found the absolutely perfect pair when I was asked to review the lovely Ridgeway Women Technical Boots by Trespass.

They are exactly what the website describes them to be:

“… a fantastic choice for budding adventurers and avid explorers.“

I put them to test last week, when we went exploring the North Coast and had to walk for a good few hours over all sorts of terrain, from muddy to pebbly to hilly to inclined.

“The boots benefit from a suede and mesh upper section, which is great at helping keep your feet fresh as it promotes the diffusion of air.

Additionally, the boots help to keep your feet free from dampness thanks to our Tres-tex technology, which repels away unwanted moisture.

Further, they benefit from Vibram soles, which are very durable and hard-wearing, meaning the boots can withstand various amounts of tough terrain whilst maintaining a good grip, so you can keep your balance.”

My Ridgeway boots definitely made climbing steep hills easier because of the very good grip they provide. I had never owned a pair of walking boots again and would have always ended up exhausted during a long walk, as my legs and feet would have had to work double to maintain my balance. It didn’t happen this time. Not only that, I actually ended up enjoying the sightseeing instead of always watching the terrain and worrying about a possible slip or fall!

I would warmly recommend you all, budding adventurers like us, to equip yourselves with a good pair of walking boots before heading out for an adventure. It makes all the difference, indeed!

Our next step will be to equip both Alex and Emma with their own pair, as I walk them as well to walk comfortably when out and about and never worry about accidents.

Disclosure: I was sent the Ridgeway women’s boots to review. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and I have received no financial compensation in order to write this post.